The Black Snob

Politics. Pop Culture. Pretentiousness.

Archive for March 11th, 2008

Pot calling kettle: I didn’t know they hung ___

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Former Veep candidate Geraldine Ferraro decided to go off the Clinton surrogate reservation and make some highly questionable comments about Obama’s “peculiar situation” of being both black and a man.

From Daily Breeze.com:

When the subject turned to Obama, Clinton’s rival for the Democratic Party nomination, Ferraro’s comments took on a decidedly bitter edge.

“I think what America feels about a woman becoming president takes a very secondary place to Obama’s campaign – to a kind of campaign that it would be hard for anyone to run against,” she said. “For one thing, you have the press, which has been uniquely hard on her. It’s been a very sexist media. Some just don’t like her. The others have gotten caught up in the Obama campaign.

“If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position,” she continued. “And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.”

Wow. It’s a lucky thing. To be a black man. In America.

She’s talking about North America, right? Not that it’s easy to be black in Venezuela or anything, but she’s kidding right?

I’m a feminist. I’m proud of it. I think being a woman is dandy. But coming from the unique perspective of being both a woman and black that is by far the most ignorant statement I’ve ever heard. Name me one white woman or white man who actually wants to be a black person. Not one who wants to sing like one or dance like one or play jazz like one. Be a black person, as in live everyday as a black person in American society.

Just like people get offended when you suggest that God is a woman or that Jesus was black that tells you all you needed to know about being black or a woman, it’s an insult. But, and I hate to say this, I didn’t know white women had a higher rate of incarceration than the general population. I didn’t know that they had worse health care or died earlier. I didn’t know that they were more likely to die in gun violence and not live to be 25.

Apparently, as in tune as I am with the news of today, I wasn’t hip enough to know that being black ceased to be a liability. Please, tell that to the people who called for Obama to repudiate Louis Farrakhan but shrug as John McCain receives bear hugs from bigots. And while you’re at it, tell the folks who routinely bring up his juvenile drug experimentation as if he was a doped up child soldier in the Sierra Leone. Someone rush a note to Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter with their “Barack, the Magic Negro” songs and “B. Hussein Obama” cracks. Please tell them, Geraldine. Spread the word.

I hate to have to say it, Geraldine, but I didn’t know they hung white women. Honestly. I wasn’t aware. I didn’t know they burnt your home down so when you and your family ran outside they could shoot you. I didn’t know that you had to get your head beat in on the Edmund-Pettis bridge just so you could have the right to walk across that bridge, peacefully, in protest. I didn’t know you had to experience the long series of ritualistic humiliations that only the benefit of blackness can bring you in America.

Things have improved in our country greatly since my mother was picking cotton in Arkansas as a child. And things have also improved for a white woman a good deal since the 1950s and 60s. White women aren’t tied to homes and children and attending their husband’s needs. You could have your own life. But things would have to reach an amazing level of progress to get to the point where being a black man in America is better than being a white woman. In America, skin color has always trumped gender. Black women, for example, were basically viewed as pack mules, not women. A female human designation wasn’t something you gave to a beast of burden. To this day, if something happens to you, be it rape, spousal abuse, murder, molestation, sexual harassment or imprisonment, you’re facing a whole lot of eye rolls and “don’t care.”

But we’re not so advanced to think that a black man gets any more attention if he’s a victim. Being black often means no attention at all if you can’t sing or you can play sports at such an advanced level that someone makes you a millionaire. So while Nancy Grace, Greta Van Susteren and countless cable news programs devote hours after hours of missing, dead, kidnapped, victimized young white woman of the week, if you’re missing while black in America, be happy if you can get your face on those little coupon fliers that come in the mail.

If that at all.

While Obama may not be some struggling, jive talking star NFL cornerback who came up out of the swamps of Florida on a scholarship to play football but not to learn anything, whose mother was a junkie and whose father was a ghost, while Obama may not be that guy who white people can both feel pity for while simultaneously using him as an example of what the rest of us shiftless Negroes should to, while he defies stereotype …

Don’t let the Harvard fool you. He still had to be a black person the whole fucking time.

So yes, Geraldine! There is a double standard. A lesser known white man running against Hillary Clinton would have lost a long time ago. A black man running against Hillary Clinton, technically, should be DOA too. But many African Americans are told constantly by their parents that good enough is not good enough. Even as Condi Rice will tell you, black folks were told you had to be twice as good as your white competition lest they find another excuse why you can’t do the job. So a black man had to do more than any white man could do. He had to overcome the fact that he was:

A) black

B) had a Islamic name

C) was a relative unknown

How is it that other women who’ve been in politics for years, who have worked hard for what they earned yet are not able to get to a presidential nomination throw down? Is it because it’s hard when you’re a minority to get a foot in the door? Doesn’t it seem like the only people who get the breaks are a privileged few who have famous last names and a whole lot of money?

Doesn’t it? Doesn’t that seem, I don’t know, unfair?Seriously, my white feminist sisters, we need to talk. Your girl fucked up, OK? Admit it. She ran a shitacular campaign,and now, instead of telling her to her face that she fucked up you want to bash Obama and try to twist things in an effort to equate white woman life with black man life. And don’t tell me how black men got the right to vote first because they didn’t even enforce that law in the south where most black people still lived. And those who tried to stand up for that right got motherfucking hung.

See? You don’t want to play this game with me, Geraldine. I can do this shit all day. You do not play the misery tango with black folks in America. You will get owned every time.

And how can a woman who has a famous last name, is a star in her party who her husband is the de facto head of, who raised goo gobs of money and locked up a bunch of super delegates while being a wealthy senator the whole time be the underdog? In what definition of the word is she being disenfranchised? She’s not. That’s not saying she doesn’t have to deal with sexism, because everyone is well aware of the press’ dysfunctional relationship they have with Hillary. But considering the jungle bunnisms of various conservatives it seems like they’re heaping out two scoops of bigotry for anyone who isn’t a white man.

I’m sorry. I can’t turn your candidate’s brand name and white privilege into votes. I don’t know why it didn’t work. Seriously, I don’t.

So, Geraldine, I’m going to be nice and cut you a break. Maybe, just maybe you meant what Papa Snob and I surmised. Maybe you were trying to say, inelegantly, that Barack Obama wouldn’t have this success as a white man because if Hillary was running against an unnamed white man the black vote may have split more evenly. But even this doesn’t hold up on second glance. Her last name is Clinton. She might not have pulled down 80 percent, but plenty-a-Negroes before she decided to burn the darkie bridge would happily have gave Bill’s wife 60 percent or more.

Hell, I’m pretty sure this was part of Hillary’s game plan. She was betting on Black folks remembering the good times with Bill and help her rise to the top like cream.

I guess we’re just going to have to agree to disagree on this, Gigi. I still think you would have made a good vice president in 1984, but you’re totally sounding like sour grapes in 2008.

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Written by blacksnob

March 11, 2008 at 8:06 pm

A Special Snob Award for Ward

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Most black men who hate themselves just join a violent street gang or become one of our many alcoholics and drug addicts. But some like to take the self-loathing up a notch, like Clarence Thomas, and for others it’s about something even more sinister – Money.

I’d naively dumped affirmative action slayer Ward Connerly in the self-loathing “Clarence Thomas trying to save us from ourselves” column. But now the folks at Too Sense have hipped me to what may be Connerly’s true end game.

Cash rules everything around Ward, dollah, dollah bill ya’ll!

From blog Colorado Confidential:

(I)n the dozen years since Proposition 209 passed in California, investigative reports have revealed that Connerly likely has much more than altruism and racial double standards in mind: It’s called money. Lots and lots of money.

In its winter 2008 issue, Ms. magazine published an investigative package detailing the millions that Connerly has raked in over the past 12 years, engaging in what is described as a “good ole boys” cottage industry, whose main beneficiaries are largely lily-white, male members of the building and construction industry – in other words, his consulting company’s longtime clients.

“Connerly and his firm [Connerly & Associates] have long consulted and lobbied for trade associations comprised of some of the most powerful players in the housing, building and public works construction industries – many of which depend on state and local governments for lucrative contracts,” according to the Ms. article, written by Mary Moore and Jennifer Hahn.

Sayeth Ms. Magazine:

In the years since Prop 209 passed, Connerly has been “handsomely compensated,” the article notes. According to Internal Revenue Service filings, between 1998 and 2006 Connerly and his company have raked in a total of $8.3 million from his nonprofit American Civil Rights Institute, and another called the American Civil Rights Coalition.

Connerly, who murdered civil rights legislation for women and minorities in California, has become a serial killer, taking what he did for California’s Prop. 209 and spreading it across the USA to Washington and Michigan. And now Connerly is set to eviscerate the legislation in Colorado, Missouri. Arizona, Nebraska and Oklahoma making sure traditional forms of “affirmative action” only apply – legacy scholarships and white maleness.

It’s bad enough to want to harm groups who are continuously discriminated against due to their genetic make-up, but to learn that you’re just in it for the dollars, Ward? I normally don’t give this award to anyone because, to me, this is a horrible sexist term, but you’ve given me no choice.

Move aside Cinnamon and all of NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s Emperor’s Club Diamonds.

WardWill Whore for Rich White MenConnerly

Ho of the Year*

* Click the image to see larger file.

The Snob apologizes to actual whores, who only hurt themselves and the men they possibly give venereal diseases to. You’re just a bunch of confused women and boys who play for pay and give ass for cash. Ward’s actions involve the racist-abetted fucking over of numerous minorities, womenfolk and dare I say it, actual whores, who need those scholarships and business contracts to get off the pole.

And yes. That is the Bishop Don “Magic” Juan, the most repugnant pimp I could think of.

Written by blacksnob

March 11, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Obama brings the Hope Train to Rolling Stone

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Jack and Jill Politics is reporting that Rolling Stone Magazine has made all of Barack’s Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show dreams come true.

The mag endorsed him, and my man, I’m sorry, Michelle’s man, who looks smokin’ hot like Luke Skywalker emerging from the deserts of Tatooine in an aptly named sci-fi epic.

I’m sure it will irk the haters that RS decided to bathe Obama in a gauzy blue, heavenly glow and they will insinuate that the liberal media is making Barack out to be the Jesus Christ of Latter Day Democrats, but I say, that’s just the Force making him looks so radiant and soft-focusy.

Written by blacksnob

March 11, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Hell … to … the … no

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I heard about this yesterday, but I’m just now getting to it: Conservative New York Times Columnist (and all around nut job) Bill Kristol is suggesting that … wait for it … Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, wayward Negro and resident really angry dude, should be John McCain’s running mate.

“He could persuade the most impressive conservative in American public life, Clarence Thomas, to join the ticket,” writes Kristol.

In fairness, Kris-Kris name-checked other questionable people for the veep spot, including Dem-gone-bad Sen. Joe Lieberman, Gen. David Petraus and Gen. Raymond Odierno. But Thomas, the man with the least experience who got through the most contentious senate hearings to become the nuttiest self-loathing justice on the Supreme Court is maddening.

Is this a case of “balance a black guy with another black guy”? Is this one of those “black people are stupid and will vote for any black dude” ruses? Because if it didn’t work for homo-fascist, daughter-hating asshole Alan Keyes when he ran against Barack Obama for senate, and it didn’t work for Michael Steele, JC Watts and bunch of other black candidates us Negroes gave the side-eye, why would it work for Thomas who black people cannot stand? I mean, really. A lot of black people hate his ass. I just think he’s a screwy and hates himself so much that he’s bent on destroying the lives of all Negroes in an effort to save us from nice liberal white folk and the government who apparently coddles us. Never mind that this same government that seems to enjoy prosecuting black folks because it doesn’t matter if you get it right as long as a darkie is in prison at the end of the day. But hate is not a strong enough word for other individuals.

For my opinion on Thomas’ tradition of “The Crazy” click here. For Bill Kristol’s column of horrors, click here.

Written by blacksnob

March 11, 2008 at 2:23 pm

And the "Can’t Keep It In the Pants" Award today goes to …

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Now updated!! See below.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer, with his wife, Silda, made a statement to the news media on Monday. (Patrick Andrade for The New York Times)

This guy. Sad really. Just sad. It’s like he was jealous of all the Republicans having the wacky perverted fun. Out of the way Larry Craig and David Vitter, Spitsy-Spits has gots tah get his swerve on!

Keep it in the pants, fellas. Seriously.

Or at least be more discriminating about who you do the bump with.

On top of all that, on the arrest warrant associated with the case a defended is listed by the name of one Temeka Rachelle Lewis. She is accused of all sorts of harlotry along two fellas. Thanks to Snob reader Charles D. who sent me info on the warrant, we were able to do some racial CSI speculating based on nothing but Ms. Lewis’ Christian name and have thus deduced that she is likely of some black American origin or, perhaps, a white woman raised by a black family who chose to name her something no white family would ever think of naming their child.

I told Charles D. what I’m telling you now, “Why, Lord? Why? Wasn’t Divine Brown enough of a scourge?”

Side note: I actually wrote a song about Divine Brown in reference to our obsession with celebrity gossip. The chorus went something to the effect of, “and we’re all going down like our names were Divine Brown.” Catchy!

Update/Side note II: It appears the black race may be suffering only a minuscule embarrassment in the Spitzer sex-with-really-expensive-hookers scandal. Rachelle appears to be but a mere “booker,” a 23-year-old just tryin’ to make a living by helping her employers arrange the transactions between hookers, johns and funds. Per The Smoking Gun’s document sharing, she’s apparently the Secretary of High Class Hookertown, not the proprietor or stunt. I’m assuming she’s not someone’s pay-for-play jump off because … they don’t pay $5,500 to do the nasty with sisters. I’ve never known whether to be insulted or relieved by this statistic, but it’s a reality in high class hooker world, the pretty but brown need not apply.

Written by blacksnob

March 11, 2008 at 12:00 am

Posted in crime, news, Politics