The Black Snob

Politics. Pop Culture. Pretentiousness.

Archive for March 23rd, 2008

Things I Missed Commenting On Because I Was Too Busy

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My recent trip to Arkansas kept me from weighing in via the blog with my opinions regarding some things that have popped up in the news and on-line.

Passport Gate
: Not surprising since this administration’s sole goal is to just show how you can fail at government on every level. What’s next? Will the mail stop showing up every day?

I don’t know how the rest of the blogosphere reacted to this because it’s all old news now and I’m too lazy to open my bloglines account and read the rss feeds. That just seems so time consuming. If anyone wants to weigh in on what everyone else thought in, like, three sentences, I’d totally read it and thank you thusly.

LeBron James and the Vogue Magazine Cover of Doom: I get the people saying “racist” King Kong imagery. There definitely is something primitive going on about that picture, but it is also a really ugly ass picture. It’s mostly short on art and long on stupid. Severely unappealing given LeBron’s NOT!terrifying face and model Gisele Bundchen’s giggly grin. This whole cover was a big WTF with me.

Is it as offensive as Ricky Williams in a dress for ESPN? No. Is it as vulgar as Taye Diggs naked on a bear skin rug for Vanity Fair? Not really. Is it amazingly stupid for a guy whose image is everything as his image is what he sells for endorsements and such? Yes. Yes, it was amazingly stupid.

It was one of those things were you had to have some pride and some common sense. Would Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, James Blake or even, my God, Shaq, have ever struck a more ludicrous pose? It’s true that former baller Larry Johnson wore a dress and played a character called “Grandmama” in sneaker commercials, but at least that was funny. This was just an ugly-ass magazine cover of “Mike Tyson face tattoo” stupidity. And black men rarely get to be on magazine covers, let alone Vogue, which hardly ever has men on their covers (let alone anyone who isn’t a skinny white woman).

So I was disappointed. Out of the three black male stereotypes they went with black man as sexual beast versus black man as sexual object or black man as emasculated buffoon. I don’t want to see Bron-Bron naked on a bear skin rug, but beastly is not the best for Vogue’s “Best Bodies” issue.

Have some fucking pride, LeBron. I know you’re not a genius, but I think The League of the Incredibly Rich Black Men of Sports” should hold a meeting and have LeBron go through Charles Barkley “I did shit that was stupid so you wouldn’t have to” seminar.

If you can’t get enough of people debating if this photo is racist, ugly or both racist and ugly, last week Jezebel had a whole fight over it.

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March 23, 2008 at 8:52 pm

Angela Bassett Gets Her Star

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And the “Best Actress for Receiving An Award” goes to …!

The luminous Angela Bassett. And isn’t she just dainty and lovely?

It’s not an Oscar, but who’s being picky? And I’m sure this honor has everything to do with Angela’s fabulousness and nothing to do with that little “Meet the Browns,” Tyler Perry flick she’s starring in with Rick Fox that opened this weekend. I’m sure that’s a mere coincidence.

That said, no matter how you feel about Tyler Perry’s body of work, his films are a perfect venue for Angela as Tyler Perry essentially makes films that appeal to black women of almost every age. Angela is a universally loved actress by black women. He might even trick me into watching a film if he casts her in another one. After all, she tricked me into seeing Forest Whittaker’s adaptation of “Waiting to Exhale.” And I didn’t even like the book!

Aw. Babies.

Here are some additional photos from the after party, obviously thrown by a certain gin company as they were ubiquitous in some of the shots I did not post here. The most gratuitous one I have is this first two shots. I only picked them because Angela looked too cute in them. Courtney seems older and more haggard looking than I remembered. But maybe that’s because Angela is still looking pretty ageless by comparison.

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March 23, 2008 at 8:24 pm

BET could surprise me …

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And not pick up the reality show Suge Knight is shopping around, vis-a-vis Bobby Brown’s reality show of a couple years back. (From WorldStarHipHop.com)

I could go into length about why Suge Knight should not have a TV show. But instead I’m going to not waste time, tiring myself out with details and just bust it bullet point style.

  1. Suge is a has-been.
  2. Suge totally knows who killed Tupac (yeah, I’m in that conspiracy camp).
  3. Wasn’t “Being Bobby Brown” punishment enough?
  4. SCAN already has too many things to boycott. It’s getting ridiculous.
  5. Suge murdered West Coast Hip Hop by being a dumb ass poser who wanted to impress people by acting like the black Tony Montana, and I am tired of watching rappers act out lame versions of perfectly good Italian mafia films.
  6. Seriously? We’re still taking about holding Vanilla Ice out the window? You and Robbie Van Winkle have been pimping that story for years as if it made either of you look better. Robbie got shook down by a poser and Suge shook down Vanilla Freakin’ Ice. Who’s hard rock in this situation?
  7. Rap is good at embarrassing itself! Don’t need your help, Suge!
  8. Black people, perfectly good at embarrassing ourselves. No help necessary there either.
  9. As if black death wasn’t celebrated enough …
  10. I thought the Crips won the gangsta rap wars? Celebrated Crip Cordozar Calvin Broadus, Jr. is skipping free, escaping numerous charges of everything from simple marijuana possession to concealed weapons to a murder case thwarted by the part-man, part-legal myth, Johnnie Cochran. And Snoop’s still universally popular despite being a neutered cartoon version of what he was ten years ago. So Snoop won! Please don’t show up on the BET, Suge!

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March 23, 2008 at 7:46 pm

Back from Arkansas!

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Mother Snob’s Family, circa 1970-something before The Snob was born in Newport, Ark. Granny Snob is the woman with the little girl in the dress on her lap. That is Big Sis. Mother Snob, Big Sis and my mother, is the foxy Snob with the afro behind the rock fence with her hand on her hip trying to channel Teresa Graves.

Granny Snob had a great 80th birthday party. All her children and most of her grandchildren, great-grandchildren and siblings showed up. My hair still smells like cigarettes, but hopefully I won’t die from sleeping on the family room couch while Granny lit up the Winston’s on the sun porch. Big Sis and I only had to endure one relative, Uncle Bubba, asking us when we were going to give our parents some grandchildren. Sis and I have come up with the reliable answer of “when you find us some husbands.”

Finding suitable husbands is a chronic problem for the beautiful and gregarious women of The Snob family. There are plenty of cute lil’ crumb-snatchers in our clan, but fathers and son-in-laws? Not so much.

Newport was Newport. It’s a small rural town of less than 7,000 people. It’s all soybean fields, a Riceland rice storage facility, a Wal-Mart and HUD housing. But I’m glad that my family lives in Newport and not Blacksville or Shoffner where my mother lived as a child. At least Newport has a McDonalds. Those two towns aren’t really towns. They’re dirt roads and forests with names.

Written by blacksnob

March 23, 2008 at 7:15 pm

Posted in arkansas, The Snob