The Black Snob

Politics. Pop Culture. Pretentiousness.

Archive for May 9th, 2008

For the Business Snobs

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Black Snob regular Andrea, The Unapologetic Snob, passed along this item about recent troubles at Radio One. I remember being mildly interested several years back when I read about Radio One’s founder Cathy Hughes in the now defunct Emerge Magazine. But what started out full of hope and promise turned into a radio version of BET. And not even in a good way. BET could use some competition. Maybe they would “diversify” their offerings, but that never came to pass. Now Radio One is in economic trouble.

Washington Post has the story on their Washbiz Blog:

Radio One said it lost $18.3 million in the first quarter, compared with a profit of $744,000 in the first three months of 2007, hurt by a slump in national advertising.

Chief executive Alfred C. Liggins III, left, sought to explain stock sales by him and his mother, Radio One founder Cathy Hughes and explain that a planned stock buyback will happen. The chief financial officer, Peter D. Thompson, defended the compensation packages for Liggins and Hughes.

Columnist Steven Pearlstein isn’t buying it. He writes that Radio One’s is “the story of a management team and a tightknit board of directors who have overreached in their strategy, underperformed in executing it and sometimes put their own interests ahead of those of their public shareholders.”

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Written by blacksnob

May 9, 2008 at 7:33 pm

The Pretty (and Not Pretty) People Parade

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And other photo fun all with the infamous all across the USA!

Ahhh … the beautiful people were out at the Lincoln Center for Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People party. Even septuagenarian presidential nominee John McCain was there. It was beauty and the beast. While some looked simply scrumptious (a la Great Wall of Sexy member Robert Downey Jr.), others looked more ‘simply Skeletor.”

By the power of Grey Skull! Let there be CELEBRITIES!

Oprah’s BFF Gayle King with Ed Bradley Award for Journalistic Hotness nominee Matt Lauer. Matt looks nice. Gayle … looks like Gayle.

This is Great Wall of Sexy member Zhang Ziyi, who looks gorgeous. I don’t know what’s up with her date though, Mr. Vivi Nevo. I’m not diggin’ the bony face. And it’s not good bony, like Willem Defoe. Just bad bony. Like Maria Shriver.

Malaak Compton and Chris Rock. Are they still together? For some reason I thought they called it quits? Either way, this photo isn’t doing them any favors.

Aiiiieeeee! Bill O’Reilly and Rupert Murdoch. Look away! Look away!

The newlyweds! Nick Cannon and Mariah “Mimi Butterfly Rainbow” Carey. Am I the only one who misses her “curly” hair? We haven’t seen it since she dumped Tommy Mottola. Still, she looks good. In the pictures below, even though there’s a good chance she’s wearing some Spanx Power Panties, she looks hot.

And is that a sparkle microphone stand? With a studded microphone??? Damn, Mimi. That’s divalicious.

Aiiiiieeeee! What is that old man doing to that young lady! Oh. It’s just Rupert again with his (gasp) wife, Wendi Deng.

John McCain, in one of the better pictures I found of him. Salute! And don’t fall down while cameras are rolling! No Bob Doles!

The Downeys: Both Roberts, father and son. And, damn. The son is hot.

Herbie Hancock on a hand held electric piano. How 1983.

Tyler Perry doing a “grip n’ grin” with Keenan Thompson. Why the sunglasses? Did he just have cataract surgery? Lasik? Coming down with a bit of the ‘Ray Charles‘? Or Corey Hart disorder?

Aiiiiiiiiiieee! What is this? An ugly white dude, hot Asian lady sandwich? This is an abomination. They both are DRAMATICALLY better looking than their husband/date. Gah. Rupert. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

CELEBRITY PARADE PART II

I need something to wash that horrible taste out of my mouth. Something smooth. Something sexy. Something preferably rocking a hat in a sexy silver suit at Sardi’s Restaurant in New York City.

It’s Great Wall of Sexy member, Terrence Howard! Oh Terrence, you may be a pretty, pretty asshole, but you’re a pretty asshole who’s made my day.

Mario Van Peebles. Also, rocking a hat.

Giancarlo Espisito. Also rocking the hat. I love black men in hats.

Phylicia Rashad, Anika Noni Rose and Terrence Howard all got caricatures of their faces to hang on the walls at Sardi’s

And now for some schadenfruede!

Paris Hilton has a new line of clip-on hair for sale at Sally’s Beauty Supplies across the nation! I know what I WON’T be buying for my hair this season! (And clip-on hair? Seriously. What’s next, girl? Hilton brand odor eaters? You’re heading into Trump Steaks territory here.)

Average Bro’s New "Man-Laws" For Young Black Males

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This a cross-posting from our blackness historian and pop culturalist, Average Bro. Here he examines how we at the Secret Council of American Negroes and other Negroes across our nation can help our wayward youth.

As ya’ll know, AverageBro Loves Da’ Kids. My site’s ulterior motive is to convince you guys to Take The AverageBro Challenge and spend an occasional Saturday morning with an impressionable Black youth. I talked hella greasy about Atlanta rapper TI for trying to knock off his community service by speaking to Atlanta-area teens last month. But reality is if more black folks who’ve “made it” took a moment to help others out, there would be no such need. Basically, if you’re not doing anything to prevent the next Latarian Milton, Genarlow Wilson, or Bryant Purvis, you shouldn’t say jack when the inevitable happens.

Stepping off my high horse, I witnessed something truly odd today when I went to the mall to grab some Mother’s Day gifts. As I was getting out of my car, a gold sedan packed four-deep with young black teens pulled up in the spot adjacent to me. The dudes were typical suburban wannabe thugs. Oversized cubic zirconia earrings. Pinwheel New Era caps. Those stupid lookin’ skater hoodies. This in and of itself is nothing notable, but what really hit me was the music they had blaring at 120 decibels from their stereo.

Deez bamas were riding four deep in the burbs, blastin’ Moments In Love by Art of Noise.

If you don’t know this song, just listen and you’ll get my point.

All together now… “Ewwwww!!!”.

Anyways, as I walked away shaking my head, it suddenly occurred to me just why male mentors are so important. Young dudes of Generation Xbox are more likely than any other to have not grown up with a father, uncle, grandpa, or some man in their lives to tell them it is emphatically not gangsta to roll four deep, or even two deep, blasting quiet storm-type slow jams with your boys. Call me old, homophobic, sexist, or whatever ist/ic you’d like, but that idd’ish was just wrong.

Since I can’t personally be a mentor to all youngins, I figured I’d throw together a list of avuncular advice for this latest generation of young bucks who don’t know no better. If you know a black male 21 and Under, feel free to cut and paste this post and send it to them. Since they probably won’t bother reading it, title the email “Melyssa Ford Topless Photos” or some such nonsense to trick em’. While I thought that Budweiser campaign was jive silly, I have to liberally jack the concept to help steer our young black men from the path to prison and general mediocrity.

So in that spirit, here’s a few more of AverageBro.com’s New “Man-Laws” For Young Black Males.

1) MySpace Rapper Is Not a Legitimate Career Option – The problem with rap music nowadays is too many damn rappers and not enough fans. Watch 106th and Park, cruise the comments section at XXL, or just drive around your nearest hood and peep the scrum stapled to every telephone pole. You’ll see plenty evidence that MySpace Rapper is the new ghetto dream/hood come-up. The problem is, most of these rappers suck, and none of these dudes trying to rap have apparently noticed that music period, not just rap music, isn’t even selling anymore! You’d be better off goin’ to trade school, getting that GED, or just goin’ back to hustlin’ than you would trying to “get your label off the ground”. There’s only one Jay-Z for a reason. And guess what? You ain’t him! Stay in school, fool.

2) Bright Colors Are Not Your Friend – This trend is thankfully jumping the shark as I type this, but what the hell ever happened to wearing earth tones, or just plain black? Bamas will rock pastel polos, Crayola-inspired sneakers, and those stupid lookin’ multicolored pinwheel baseball caps like they’re 3rd graders. Enough already.

3) Be Nice To Johnny Law – My Pops taught me a very basic rule for dealing with the cops: Don’t! 99% of the time, if you’re not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about. So when a cop pulls you over, comply. Don’t act a damn fool and end up in a pine box. Yes, there are some egregious examples of cops who blatantly abuse their power, but far more often, the catalyst for an ass whoppin’ is some Negro who just didn’t know when to shut up. Do what they ask you to do, take down badge numbers and names, and live to tell your lawyer about it the next day.

4) ‘Shawty’ Is Not A Term of Endearment – Learn how to treat and talk to women. One benefit of youth is having the room to experiment and figure out what you like about the opposite sex without tangible commitments (ie: a ring and kids). So, by all means enjoy yourselves. But no woman likes to be catcalled and shouted at. “Ay Ma!”, “S’up Shaaawwtaaay!”, and “C’mere Girl!” are not proper ways of attracting young ladies. Learn how to simply smile, say “Hello”, and introduce yourself. And if the girl isn’t interested, no need to insult her by hurling an “Eff’ You Beeyotch!” as she walks away. Just pick up your dignity and keep on’ fishin’.

5) Enunciation Is A Beautiful Thang – My Pops also taught me the importance of how to speak to grown-ups in a way that commands respect. Speak loudly, clearly, enunciate, and use direct eye contact if you want to be taken seriously. Don’t show up for your job interview wearing aviator shades and mumbling to the floor like one enterprising young brother I observed at an H&M store in Philly last Summer. Discover the joys of code-switching, and learn the appropriate places and times for using words like “jawn”, “young”, and “tight”. Eliminate the word “conversate” from your vocab altogether. If you’re vexed, peep my epic The AverageBro Broken English Hall of Shame post, and it’s accompanying comments for further guidance.

6) Pull Up Your Damn Pants – We already talked about the whole bright colors thing. But hues aside, make sure you’re putting your best foot forward when the occasion deems to necessary. All pencil jeans should be burned immediately. Ditto for those skater hoodies. Pull up your damn pants. Liberace wore themed belt buckes. If you don’t know who he is, Google him, then trash yours. And while I’m all for accessorizing, there is no rational explanation for wearing Air Jordans, a black and white pinwheel cap, aviator sunglasses, and carrying a walking cane when you’re wearing a black suit… at a funeral. Exercise some common sense and dress according to your environment. And oh yeah, no more pencil jeans.

7) Leave An Open Seat – This is closely related to the No Slow Jams rule. If you’re at the movies and there’s enough space, for the love of all things precious, leave an empty seat between you and your boys! You are not on a date, you are watching a movie with friends, so space it out. You can communicate with each other just fine when separated by an empty seat, and who knows, if you’re lucky, a nice young lady might want that seat. And you won’t even have to call her “shawty” either.

8) Blunts Are Not A Nutritional Supplement – Your body is your temple; not an ashtray for roaches. Two Strawberry Swishers (or Phillies, whatever floats your proverbial boat) do not equal a serving of fruits and veggies. Recreational drug habits make it difficult to hold down a real job, rob you of pocket change, and permanently char your lips. If you’ve really gotta do this though, at least have the decency to partake in the sanctity of your Mama’s basement, not while driving your Mama’s car down Georgia Ave in mid-day.

9) Enough With The Feminine Grooming Habits – I’m a Kappa Man, so I understand the importance of looking good. That said, some of these young dudes nowadays are taking the whole Omarion/Ne-Yo I’m-So-Hood’ metrosexual thing a bit too far. Baby hair is for babies. You shouldn’t be using your little sister’s makeup pencil to draw imaginary hair anywhere on your person. And if you’ve actually arched your eyebrows, or even remotely considered arching your eyebrows, just go ahead and stick your head in an oven right now. Life isn’t getting any easier.

10) Read A G.D. Book – This isn’t strictly a young black male phenomenon by any means, but let’s break this habit while we’re still young. Every time I go to the barbershop, I hear all sorts of misinformation floating around. “Obama’s a Muslim.” “Ciara’s a hermaphrodite.” “The reparations checks are in the mail.” “Tupac is secretly living in Brazil.” “John McCain is bringing SlaveryBack… yep.” All untrue, and all easily refutable if you’d read something other than King Magazine and the Post sports section. Man Up! and get yourself a library card. Smart is the new cool, fool.

Again, feel free to disagree and flame me in the comments. If you’re on board, add your additions below. But whatever you do, don’t ignore the message because you dislike the messenger. Either way, Take The AverageBro Challenge to help save our young black boys and girls[6] from a future of Flavor of Love casting calls, HPV, and commissary deposits. And if you can’t do that, at least forward this post to your nephews. P.S.: don’t forget the “Melyssa Ford Topless Photos” subject line.

Because we go to do better than those damn pencil legged jeans.

Written by blacksnob

May 9, 2008 at 4:31 pm