The Black Snob

Politics. Pop Culture. Pretentiousness.

Archive for May 14th, 2008

Logo Ideas. Suggestions.

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I’m trying to decide what banner to use until I come up with an original logo design (this is a hodge podge of cartoon characters from my strip “Nerd Girl” and a illustration of Lil’ Kim.) I realized I needed a more gender neutral logo, as I do have a male readership (and I love you all). I don’t want new readers to think this is not a penis friendly place. So, ideas? Suggestions?

BTW. For anyone who cares the characters are Rebecca, a biracial girly nerd, Jenitta, the fierce Alpha female and Glenn, a vain egotist. The character based on me, Maddie, is sort of to the left there, but that’s an early rendering. I’ve changed her look some and I haven’t scanned in any of the good ones of her yet. Maddie (short for Madeline), Rebecca and Jenitta are all main (female) characters. Glenn is one of Maddie’s ex-boyfriends.

The three main male characters include Steve Feung, Jermaine and Budda X. All three are perpetual slackers. I’ll eventually get around to posting more on the strip after I finish some other personal projects.

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Written by blacksnob

May 14, 2008 at 5:59 pm

Posted in Nerd Girl, The Snob

When Hillary Love Gets Kooky: Car Edition

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A while back I did a few pieces on folks who took their love for Obama a “Barack too far.” But did you know there are some folks who can go coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs on The Hills too? Like, what the hell is this abomination?

Grechen Baer’s Hillary-mobile makes an appearance as former President Bill Clinton campaigns for his wife, Democratic presidential hopeful, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., at a Solutions for America rally in Fayetteville, W.Va. Thursday, May 8, 2008. (AP Photo/Bob Bird)

Those crazy, West Virginians. Trying to out crazy the Obama crazies. It’s no Obama Messiah sculpture, but it ranks up there with the Obama Air Force Ones. Click here to see more on “Extreme Obama” love.

If you find evidence of people taking their love of Hillary OR Barack to unnerving levels please send the pictures to moi: blacksnob@gmail.com.

Written by blacksnob

May 14, 2008 at 3:04 pm

Profiles In Sexy: Jude Law Versus Jessica Alba

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Great Wall of Sexy members Jessica “The Anatomy of Sexy” Alba and Jude “Sexy Ho” Law do battle over who truly is mas sexy.

He’s a whore. She refuses to get naked for pay. They’re both sexy and awesome (even though one can’t act her way out of a restroom stall). But who wins in this duel de sexy?

First Jude Law

Pros:

@ He’s British and The Snob loves men with British accents. I’m also partial to French, Spanish, American Southern drawl, Caribbean patois and whatever accent Wall of Sexy member Tawny Cypress butchered through FOX’s canceled “K-Ville.”

@ He’s a cad. You can only be a cad if you’re British. It sounds nicer than, say, “asshole” or “jerk who slept with our kids’ nanny.”

@ He can act.

@ He can act sexy.

@ He was murdered by Matt Damon in “The Talented Mr. Ripley,” where Jude was, by far, the best and sexiest thing. And I like Matt Damon. Matt Damon is hot. But when Ripley kills Dicky the movie goes from a very sexy, somewhat homoerotic jaunt through Europe to dead white people everywhere and Damon’s Ripley climbing back into the celluloid closet.

Cons:

@ He’s like a British Samuel L. Jackson. As in, there’s no check he won’t turn down no matter how abysmal the script. Granted, Jackson takes so many roles because he remembers his po’, broke addict days when work was non-existent. Law is double-booking because he owes all kinds of child support and alimony. Keep it in the pants, Jude!

@ For every “Gattaca” there’s “Alfie”or that Stanley Kubrick partial-birth abortion, stem cell harvested nightmare of “AI: Artificial Intelligence.” That wasn’t really Law’s fault, but he didn’t help any.

@ He cheated on his wife for Sienna Miller, who is a crappy actress, only to down grade further and do the help. What’s next? Homeless people? Ann Coulter? Standards, Law! Have some standards!

And now for Alba. What’s so great about her?

Pros:

@ She’s got a body that won’t quit and the fresh face of an angel.

@ She’s resisted fan boy pressure to show off her goodies. But, after that …

Cons:

@ She’s a terrible, terrible, terrible actress. This doesn’t mean she’s a lost cause by any means. She’s always one role from redemption, but her resume reads like a trainwreck sandwiched between two super hero flicks just one step above the Daredevil spin-off “Elektra.”

The Eye? Bill? Good Luck Chuck? The Ten? Into the Blue? Honey!

Would it kill this woman to do something she can handle like playing Vin Diesel’s/The Rock’s/Keanu Reeves’/Will Smith’s girlfriend while shit blows up all around? I’m not saying she should lower her standards, but … she should lower her standards. She’s no Rachel McAdams or Sanaa Lathan. She’s not even “Ugly Betty’s” Ana Ortiz. The ONLY good movie Alba’s done in the last decade was “Sin City” and that movie wasn’t good because of her. It was good because everyone in it who was not her, plus the man behind the camera, plus the man who illustrated the original graphic novel it was based on were brilliant. This was the ultimate open book test of films. All she had to do was NOT SUCK. She didn’t have to emote. She didn’t have think. She only had to do was what Hollywood likes to pay her to do — look really, really hot.

Of course, to the chagrin of fanboys she still kept her clothes on, but I actually give her props for keeping her top on. The pressure has to be SO enormous to just get naked for get the attention and box office gross. Many actresses have done the Full Femme Monty only to end up in the dust bins of film history. (Elizabeth Berkley … at least your film is a camp icon. That sort of makes up for having no career, right? Right?)

You go, Alba. At least you CAN keep it in the pants … And shirt. Which is more than I can say for Gigolo Joe over there.

That said. Who wins?

I lean pretty hetero so my urging places want me to go with Law. But I’m prone to girl crushes and Alba is so cute even though she is a horrendous actress. But, c’mon, is this really a contest? Part of being sexy is about being sexy in ways that don’t involve your “goodies.” Law is a hot, fey mess and Alba has a cute butt, but you have to have some there there. And Alba, honey, you played the Invisible Woman not once, but twice.

Enuf said.

Give me my screwed up, nanny fucking, broke-ass Brit Jude Law!

Crave more sexy? Please. Take a hike up the wall and gander at all the pretty people.

Written by blacksnob

May 14, 2008 at 4:09 am

I heard the craziest thing today …

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West Virginia had a primary! Who knew? And Hillary Clinton apparently won! Shocking! And am I being sarcastic? YES! YES, I AM!

Everyone (and by everyone I mean the punditocracy) say that what will REALLY matter is her victory speech. Will it be a go-along-get-along speech? Or will she show up on a motorcycle, shotgun in tow, half her face blown off to reveal she is, in fact, a cyborg, wearing sunglasses and proclaiming “I’ll be back … in June!” while James Cameron’s film score thunders in the background?

Because if she did that, that would be pretty fucking awesome. It would be annoying too. But I love Terminator 2, so it would still be pretty awesome all the same.

Now think! Think, Snob! How will Chris Matthews manage to make this all more important than it is by being overtly sexist? Ooo! Ooo! Glenn Close reference! Wait. Someone already did that. Aah, I know Sharon Stone reference. She is a Clintonista. No! Too sexual and creepy. And “Single White Female” and “The Hand that Rocks the Cradle” aren’t quite apropos.

I’ll play it safe. He’ll say something about pantsuits and her voice being irritating.

That, and how hopeless her campaign is …

And how he secretly hopes it never ends.

Written by blacksnob

May 14, 2008 at 12:00 am