The Black Snob

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Archive for the ‘john mccain’ Category

SAY IT TO HER FACE, Les Bitches! You All Failed, Not Just the ‘Alaska Disasta’

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The Black Snob’s one (and only) defense of Gov. Sarah Palin. Governor, you’re welcome in advance.

Palin was apparently a nightmare for her campaign staff to deal with. She refused preparation help for her interview with Katie Couric and then blamed her staff, specifically Nicole Wallace, when the interview was panned as a disaster. After the Couric interview, Fox News reported, Palin turned nasty with her staff and began to accuse them of mishandling her. Palin would view press clippings of herself in the morning and throw “tantrums” over the negative coverage. There were times when she would be so nasty and angry that her staff was reduced to tears. (From the notes of FOX News Chief Political Correspondent Carl Cameron, Huffington Post)

Stop, anonymous McCain heads and Monday morning quarterbacking Republican pundits.

Just. Stop.

You know what I’m talking about.

Stop bashing Miss Wasilla, Sarah Palin, aka “Caribou Barbie.” Yeah, yeah. During the election we all had our fun and our Tina Fey impressions and our “I can see Russia from my house” joke variations. All that was great. But to listen to the “anonymous” Round Robin of McCain insiders who say everything from she didn’t know Africa from country or contintent to she couldn’t name the members of North American Trade Agreement to that she used her status to become a “Wasilla hillbilly looting Nieman Marcuses from coast to coast” is … how can I but this? In really, really, really poor taste. Harping constantly about how she pushed to speak on concession night andrefused to cram the night before her “big exam” with Kaite Couric says to me you are throwing poo because you want no one to look at you.

Some of the leaks are just catty. Like telling the press she once answered her hotel door in a towel and wet hair, also in a towel. What the hell does that have to do with her being a nightmare candidate? What is that supposed to imply? That she’s immoral because she answered a door in a towl? That she’s undignified? Wasn’t that 90 percent of her appeal for the base? The fact that she was … ahem … “real?”

This “Sarah Palin was an ignorant, ungrateful $2,500 borrow suit coat wearing bitch” attack meme is not working on me. Even with a GOP lawyer dispatched to the frozen tundra to take back that expensive packaging and window dressing called designer suits and shoes.

You do realize, Anonymous McCain staffers when you point a finger three more point back at you? That in doing this you are further more soldifying the fact that it was, as John McCain said in his concession speech, his own failings which brought about the loss. One of those failings was Sarah Palin, a women he’d only met twice before offering her the job. It was he who picked this Nieman Marcus grifting Hillbilly who allegedly didn’t know diddly about squat. “Country First” was the slogan. Who’s country came first when McCain picked the alleged ignoramous, one we were repeated told was the future of the Republican Party the past two months?

These same staffers protected, defended and lied for her when the left pointed out and mocked her flaws. But when the loss hit and hit hard instead of looking within and finding their own mistakes, they’ve gone feral, launching the malicious, sexist attacks many accused lefties of once pulling. You have chosen this instead of going “maybe we could have responded faster to the financial crisis? Maybe ‘suspending’ the campaign looked like grandstanding? Maybe we did a poor job of explaining ‘why McCain’ while shouting ‘Nobama?’ Maybe we had no coherent strategy? Maybe we never knew or understood how to handle the race issue or Obama’s rock star status — other than bitch about him being a ‘celebrity?’ Maybe we ran McCain’s campaign into the ground? Maybe he ran his campaign into the ground? The man wouldn’t even work on weekends. Maybe it was because all we had were stunts and tactics but no real transformative ideas? Maybe Obama’s digital and we’re analog? Maybe Obama’s a Mac and we’re a PC? Maybe we suck?”

And if they’d ask themseves these questions they would know the truth.

You’re a bunch of sour losing sons-of-bitches who, rather than be introspective and use this time to figure out where the hell you went wrong, chose to blame the bitch, the oldest routine in the book. You’ve already branded Palin with a scarlet letter “C” for campaign wrecker when — j’ accuse! — It was you, all of you, McCain from the top down, complicit in this catagory five failure of temperment and judgment. The people wanted change. You couldn’t offer it so you simply ripped off the word and started calling yourselves “the Original Mavericks.” You went narrow when you should have made a play for the center. You picked up lame attacks that made little to no dent once the defening sound of the housing crisis imploding and Wall Street crashing came down.

Palin may have gone off script, been opportunistic, been a dim bulb, but it was the McCain campaign who was paraded her around like their new prize pony. Who sprung her from obscurity to infamy. Then you get mad because the prize pony is a “maverick” and just does “whatever.” She doesn’t read things. She’s out for self. As I said before. If I was the lummox, I would be too. As repellent as I found her views, she was being used by the McCain campaign to ignite a recalcitrant base, and they got that.

They just lost everyone else.

That’s how gambling works, McCain and anonymous McCain staffers. When you throw the die and it comes up snake eyes you don’t curse the dice. You gave fate a roll and she bum-rolled you, Rick-rolled you, sushi rolled you. As The Stranger said in The Big Lebowski, “Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you.”

The “bar” just fucking ate you because of your incompetence. Deal with it! Get therapy!

And McCain? To stand silent while your running mate’s legend as a moron increases is really classy, and I say “classy” as in not classy at all. It reveals your true character. Are you that compassionate, magnanimous loser from Tuesday night or are you the son of a bitch who can’t say, “Knock it off, people I hired! We lost! Sarah’s flawed, but the blame is shared and the bulk of it lies with me.” But instead we get … silence.

I thought she was was ready to be your vice president, Johnny Mac? I thought she was your “soul mate?” Yet there you are in the busted “Stray Talk Express” pretending to look the other way as your staffers hogtie her to the ground so you can accidently run her over a few times.

Yes, she’s cocky. Yes, she’s a know-nothing. But she was YOUR know-nothing. You picked the Alaska disasta.’ She was your one real chance to show your executive decision making ability and you came up craps. Well, tough titty, Senator. Stand up, stand behind, stand somewhere on your decisions. Admit that it’s not her, it was you. Even if you hate her. Even if you wouldn’t talk to her for most of those two months. Even though you both could read the writing on the wall. You wanted your pitbull in a skirt. You wanted this dinner of regret and crow, knowing now you will never be president, knowing you were destroyed by your own bad decisions on top of the failures of the Bush Administration and hundreds of other Republican politicians and operatives.

Invite your little bitter ones to your royal feast and tell them all to shut the hell up. While making Palin look bad, they are making themselves and their former boss look ever more the worse.

Personal responsibility shouldn’t just be a political catchphrase every four years. Learn it. Love it. Live it. Practice what you preached, Republicans. Show. Don’t tell.

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Written by blacksnob

November 7, 2008 at 6:00 pm

ELECTION DAY!!!!!!

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Diddy Combs at a Last Chance rally in Florida he hosted with Jay-Z and Mary J. Blige.

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! OR DIDDY WILL KILL YOU! (And possibly Jay-Z … and yeah, probably me and a majority of The Black Snob’s readers. Really. We’re not fucking around. Vote. And don’t bother asking “who.” YOU KNOW WHO!

“The Great Hope Mongerer!” “Hopey McChangey!” Sasha and Malia’s daddy!

Don’t you want Sasha and Malia’s daddy in the White House? Look at their faces! How can you say no to those faces!?!?!

And Michelle Obama (here campaigning her ass of in Colorado yesterday), are you going to DENY her the right to become the full-fledged style, aspirational, successful, talented, smart black woman icon she rightly deserves to be as First Lady? And don’t get me started on my dear Hopey McChangey himself, Barack Obama. He’s brilliant. He’s cool under pressure. He gives a rat’s ass about the po’ folk (that’s all that unfaithful bastard John Edwards asked for when he endorsed him).

And he’s going to attempt what has never been done — fix the healthcare system in the US. And he’s not John McCain and those are the official Snob reasons why I’m voting Obama. Obama’s bringing the smart back and I’m all for it. End every playground diss of a black nerd. That could be the next Barack or Michelle Obama so STFU, bratty children! You too, overtly negative yet gleefully ignorant black people! All that’s over. I’m officially declaring the war against ourselves done. Let’s go to war over something meaningful: like making sure our votes get counted by any means necessary. Don’t worry about your parking tickets and warrants, people. Or if your home is foreclosed. GO VOTE! THE VOTE KILLERS ARE LYING TO YOU! If you go vote all that will happen is voting. I promise.

And man, I wanted to write something beautiful and meaningful about today, but … I’m too full of LET’S DO THIS THING! More meaningful perspective later today (along with regular updates after 4 p.m.) on this historic election that is the biggest thing to happen since 1968.

Written by blacksnob

November 4, 2008 at 12:00 pm

SNL Goes B-A-N-A-N-A-S With John McCain, Keith Olbermann, Tina Fey, Ben Affleck, The View and more

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I don’t know if taking time out for Saturday Night Live in the middle of a heated campaign was a smooth move for John McCain, but it was a hilarious move.

Reliving some of his SNL glory days, John McCain did a great parody of John McCain (including the nervous blinking, but I don’t think he was doing that on purpose), with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, perfect as ever … going rogue by threatening to never leave the national stage. It’s either the White House or “the white Oprah.” Brava and bravo, Fey and McCain.

McCain was also pretty good on the Weekend Update segment introducing new political moves like “The Double Maverick” and “The Sad Grandpa” in which he said the strategy was to whine that Obama would have plenty of chances to be president and it was McCain’s turn. Once again, what will SNL do once this is all over? The comedy show will be doing a special election episode on Monday on NBC.

The show also had some fun at MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann expense. The sketch was a bit wordy and ran long (just like My Fair Keithy). It was also more than eight minutes and starred the evenings co-host Ben Affleck who kept cracking himself up while trying to shout all his lines. It eventually hit the funny button hard when Affleck did a cheesy send up of Olbermann’s sometimes self-righteous “Special Comments” by making it about him trying to get a three bedroom apartment that wouldn’t take him because he owned a cat. A fluffy, white, fey as all get out, cat.

There was even a sketch of “The View” and while it wasn’t as good as the above three, if you closed your eyes Kristen Wiig’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck was so good it was horrifying. Fred Armisen’s Joy Behar was both right and wrong and one-dimensional and Joy’s not that bad. As for Kennan, your Whoopi sucked, but you’re the only black person on the show. I guess you can only do so much with what they give you. And Casey New Girl What’s Your Face? That was a Jennifer Aniston parody? Was that the ONLY celeb they could think for you to do (or the only celeb you could do)? Lame, new girl. Very lame.

Written by blacksnob

November 2, 2008 at 1:35 pm

McCain to Appear on SNL This Weekend

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Hey! I didn’t know New York was a battleground state!

From Gawker:

Senator John McCain will appear on the popular “sketch comedy” television program Saturday Night Live this weekend. McCain hosted the show in 2002, so he’s no stranger to their fun-loving antics. The only difference is that this time out, McCain is, we’re told, running for president, and the election is on Tuesday. So, sure, hanging out in New York City sounds good, why not. Barack Obama was rumored to be considering an appearance too, but it seems like he might spend the weekend before the election campaigning in swing states?

Personally, I would be obsessively hitting western Pennsylvania and Ohio trying to flip those states in my direction, not chatting it up with Lorne Michaels and Seth Myers, but I’m not going to tell McMaverick how to do his McMavericking. He’s obviously a professional at pulling jack moves. And since the Obama Campaign has decided to show NO MERCY and start airing ads in Georgia, North Dakota and McCain’s own backyard of Arizona, it’s Murderball out there, people! Make your own rules!

That said, what is SNL going to do with this election is over? The race for Commander-In-Chief of What Bush Broke will be dunzo in a matter of days. They’ll have to go back to relying on Paris Hilton and Laser Cats — and maybe it’s my ovaries, but I don’t find Laser Cats funny at all.

Written by blacksnob

October 31, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Jon Stewart on the "O-mercial"

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Lovin’ the Richard Pryor movie reference. Very nice.

Written by blacksnob

October 31, 2008 at 9:30 pm

The Riggle Sanchez Gets A Goat By the Throat

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Normally I can’t stand Rick Sanchez’s 2 p.m. show on CNN because it is all over the place, no one talks for longer than 30 seconds on any given subject and it gives me seizures to see him bounce from “Twitter” board to “Facebook” page, all which seem too informal in a news setting. But even CNN’s own personal Latino Rob Riggle does something Snob-worthy once-in-a-while and this, sir and/or ma’am, is it.

That McCain flack didn’t know whose show he just stepped into, just making shizz up in front of Rob … I mean, Rick Riggle … I mean … Rob Sanchez, I mean … The Riggle Sanchez don’t PLAY that! You start naming names when you slander, Mr. McCainiac. NAME NAMES! No we don’t know who you are referring to! (Via The Huffington Post)

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October 31, 2008 at 2:30 pm

John McCain As Rodney Dangerfield

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He can’t get no respect! The man with the nom de guerre “Joe the Plumber” was a no show at a John McCain rally Thursday not helping Senator Walnut Cheeks on bit. CNN‘s The Situation Room reported the campaign had the crowd all hyped because Sam Wurzelbacher, aka “Joe the Plumber” was supposed to be in the audience. But he wasn’t. In fact he was a complete no show because:

A) He canceled on the campaign and McCain’s aides didn’t get the news to Johnny Mac in time

B) The campaign never confirmed with Wurzelbacher about him being at the rally

Wurzelbacher, according to CNN, put it all on the McCain campaign, claiming they asked him about it, but never followed up. When the staff tried to fix things by arranging for Joe to attend a later rally, Wurzelbacher shut-in-down, miffed about his name being brought up at the earlier rally when he was not there. But all the kinks were worked out in the end, and Wurzelbacher and McCain eventually shared the stage for the same time.

Did I ever mention how insanely dumb I think all this Joe Plumber/Wurzelbacher stuff is? Never mind …

Considering that Joe is doing everything from flacking (poorly) on FOX News for McCain to possibly cutting a country album, Joe is pimping his 15 minutes to the max.

“Joe” — aka Samuel Wurzelbacher, a Holland, Ohio, pipe-and-toilet man — just signed with a Nashville public relations and management firm to handle interview requests and media appearances, as well as create new career opportunities, including a shift out of the plumbing trade into stage and studio performances.

On Tuesday, Wurzelbacher joined country music artist and producer Aaron Tippin to form a new partnership that includes booking-management firm Bobby Roberts and publicity-management concern The Press Office to field the multiple media offers he’s received over the past few weeks. (Politico)

Whoo, boy, said Sarah Palin to herself, who’s the diva now?

But Jon Stewart tried to warn his ol’ friend Sen. John McCain about plucking random folks from obscurity and making them surrogates.

Written by blacksnob

October 31, 2008 at 2:00 pm