The Black Snob

Politics. Pop Culture. Pretentiousness.

Archive for the ‘Sean Combs’ Category

Trailer for Biggie Biopic "Notorious"

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This movie has a January 2009 release which isn’t always the best sign. (Although a February release date is a death knell.) The movie features Angela Bassett as Voletta Wallace, Christopher “Biggie Smalls” Wallace’s mother and Derek Luke as Sean “Diddy” Combs. Newcomer Jamal Woolard plays Biggie. I still have a bad “trainwreck” feeling about this and the trailer does not squash that feeling. The director is George Tillman Jr. who helmed both “Barbershop” films, “Soul Food” and “Roll Bounce.” He might be able to pull it off. Maybe they’ll cut together a better trailer that will make me less skeptical. Although, to be honest, I don’t know why this movie is being made. Bad Boy is one of the producers so this isn’t going to be an objective piece of art by any stretch. Any Biggie fans out there planning to watch this? (Black Voices)

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Written by blacksnob

October 2, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Celebrity Round-Up: Best of the Week

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Singer Teyana Taylor delivers the cake, looking a delightful hot mess in a purple Minnesota Twins hat and pink plaid at Rihanna’s Good Girl Gone Bad viewing party June 17th.

Famous people, mostly dressed badly, standing in front of cameras and getting their pictures taken. It’s a hard job, but they were all just sober enough to do it. Here are my favorites from the past week.

RIHANNA GOOD GIRL GONE BAD VIEWING PARTY

I have mixed feelings for Rihanna. I’m probably not in the demographic for her music, but I have to admit, she looks pretty adorable here trying to be all dark and sexy with the heavy eyeliner like a high schooler trying to age-it-up to get liquor at a club she’s too young to get into. Rocking Halle Berry’s hair of almost 15 years ago. Awww! Try not to throw up from downing all those shots of Cuervo Black!

LeToya Luckett, still alive.

I thought this was an accident when I first saw it on WireImage. Like someone teleported a photo from 1992 into Rihanna’s shindig. But, no, this is a group called The Retro Kids. And I’m lovin’ the kente cloth vest, bi-colored high top fades and tortoiseshell glasses making them look like some weird mash-up of Kid n’ Play, Kwame, “Don’t Be Cruel” era Bobby Brown and Troop.

Nice. I’m feelin’ it. I won’t wear those clothes again (no Cross Colors?), but I’m feelin’ it.

Also, kind of frightened that at 30 the music of my youth is “retro.” I prefer “out of style.”

But speaking of “Don’t Be Cruel” era Bobby Brown …

This isn’t him.

ASCAP RHYTHM & SOUL AWARDS

No. It’s old, formerly (currently?) cracked out, Whitney-less Bobby Brown. The self-proclaimed “King of Stage” took the stage, along with the rest of New Edition, at the ASCAP Rhythm and Soul Awards June 23.

“Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike, if I love a girl who cares who you like!” (Ralph and Johnnie too, yeah … word tha mutha!)

And if that passage made no sense to you, my word, I am so depressed now. And why is Ralph Tresvant bald? I loved Ralph when I was in junior high (not more than I loved Tevin Campbell because I loved no one more than Tevin at the time.) But I still listen to Ralph’s solo album to this day. I can’t listen to his whiny rap on the track “Rated R” without laughing (who can?), but “Do What I Gotta Do” still holds up well.

Other people found to be still alive at the ASCAP Rhythm and Soul Awards …

MC Lyte (So many kinds of wrong. One part Roman, one part WTF.)

Tichina Arnold (I’m a little weirded out by her side-boobage.)

And alleged Pussycat Doll Melody Thorton and her hideous peek-a-boo toe high heeled boots.

CELEBRITIES OUT AND ABOUT

The lanky NBA Finals champ (finally) Kevin Garnett in Manhattan, NY.

Cellphone assassin/professional clothes wearer Naomi Campbell doing something good (as she is wont to do). This time she was lending her criminal star shine to the Africa Rising Festival June 25. Naomi is all about the motherland. Although I am concerned about this wig she has on.

She makes too much money to be wearing something that looks like what I can purchase at a King’s Beauty Supply on West Florissant. (That’s North St. Louis County for the non-St. Louisans. The Koreans have the fake hair, beauty product market on lock.)

Rosario Dawson looking very, very pretty in white on June 22. The bag is an Eco bag she designed for some save the earth thingy for Absolute Vodka. Oh, Rosario. I don’t believe there was much “designing” going on with this bag, but you look almost dainty and ethereal for a crazy, crazy woman.

I’m assuming this jacket is for warmth as Rihanna leaves Madison Square Garden June 18 after show with Ne-Yo because it’s totally ruining what looks like a pretty cute cocktail dress. It’s a little “jazz hands” and Solid Gold, but it’s cute on her.

Ne-Yo. I realize this is because I’m not hip like I used to be, but I tend to get Ne-Yo confused with Mario, Trey Songz, Ray J and Omarion. Technically, I know who Ray J is. Before he used to be just Brandy’s little brother. Now he’s that gross guy with the porn tape. But vocally there’s a lot of crossover going on and it doesn’t help that they’re all basically weaker versions of Usher Raymond and I hate Usher Raymond.

ISLAND DEF JAM TAG RECORDS LAUNCH PARTY

“If me and Janet got married I’d be Jermaine Jackson. Heh, heh … wait. That didn’t sound right.”

Look away! Look away!

Whew. That was a close one. I almost looked JD in the eye … wait, OHMYGOD WHAT IS THAT???!

Hot Dollar. That has to be a joke right? Hot Dollar sounds like a pimp Eddie Griffin once played in an Ice Cube production.

Evan Ross. As a fan of boys who sometimes look like girls … you look great, Son-of-Diana … Brother-of-Tracee. Even if you do have on over-sized aviator shades and the way you’re grabbing your belt is evocative of Michael Jackson’s crotch grabbing era of the 1990s. Never did one man grab his crotch so much in order to pantomime sexual prowess. What’s sad is I feel like that had a lot to do with Motown marketing him as a sex symbol at ten. I’m sure that didn’t screw him up at all.

Now go eat something, Evan. You’re wasting away.

The pale half of Kid n’ Play, Chris Reid.

Jurnee Smollett. I love you, but I’m not supposed to see your bra. Try some double-stick tape next time. Also, not feeling your outfit, but you’ve transitioned pretty well from child actress to … whatever you’re going for here. You’re a good actress, though. You’ve always had the chops. Just don’t get all tricked out with fake boobs and start making “Me sooo sexy” faces all the time like your “Eve’s Bayou” co-star Meagan Good. I love her too and she is almost too sexy, leading me to opine, less can be more.

STEVE RIFKIND AND SRC’S POST-BET AWARDS PARTY IN HONOR OF STEVEN HILL

Ashanti’s 1920s hair and Nelly

Big Boi and actor Ryan Philippe (never noticed those flame tats on Ryan’s arm before. Were those there pre- or post-divorce from Reese?) And it’s still disturbing how he still looks like he could be Justin Timberlake’s brother. He also looks like he could kick Justin’s ass, but that’s why Ryan’s sexier than Mr. SexyBack. Don’t talk about it, be about it, Justin!

I don’t know who’s scarier here. Lil’ Kim with her blonde wing, fake lashes and general bleached out look; Diddy looking puffy with his slight paunch, cap curiously backwards; or Lil’ Wayne … no words there.

I’ll be safe and say it’s a tie between the two “lil’s.”

Hmmm … with this hat I’m wondering …

Separated at birth?

Written by blacksnob

June 29, 2008 at 7:18 pm

Parade of Suedo Stars!

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For all us poor people, it was just “May.” For the rich and famous, last week was the Cannes Film Festival where everyone goes to France to be camera-whores.

It’s hard work, but someone has to put on a $8,000 mini dress and go do it.

As always, Supermodel and Cellphone-Fu black belt champion Naomi Campbell was on hand at Dolce & Gabbana’s Cannes party.

She was wearing Roman-esque silver gladiator sandals, a sparkly mini-dress and black feathers for a coat of some kind, but she’s Naomi. She could put on a black Hefty garbage bag and make it work.

While a lot of people at this party looked especially garish (Lindsay Lohan and her disappearing emerald skirt and Rose McGowan’s scraggly red hair to be specific), others looked less so. Like Sean “Dolphin Teeth” Combs and Kerry Washington who only looked a little silly in his white tuxedo suit and her hairy gold sweater of a dress.

Nice “finger jewelry.”

Is it just me or shouldn’t Kerry’s legs be shinier? Her face area has a nice, healthy glow and she’s wearing gold so shouldn’t her legs be all cocoa butter oiled up? Because at these sorts of events with all the cameras flashing not enough sheen can make a Negro look ashy. And that’s what I’m really saying. I realize she’s no “Ashy Larry” but the matte finish look does not work for a black person’s “evening legs,” especially when the skirt is this short and the gold is blending in with her natural skin tone.

I’m not saying she has to bathe in a bucket of Crisco or make love to some fried chicken from Church’s, World’s Greasiest Retail Chicken Chain, but … it couldn’t hurt.

But enough of that. It’s been five minutes. Are Nick and Mariah still together?

Oh, thank God! I was worried. No pictures of them had shown up in my inbox for nearly three whole days. Sure, I’d seen that one picture of a solo Nick at a party Diddy threw last week, but nothing substantial since the Six Flags Cupcakes of Love soirée they gave me May 16th. Thank heavens some paparazzi were there in Japan to greet them at the airport where a shy and resigned Mariah Carey fought tears as she reluctantly posed for pictures.

“Is this what you wanted! Is this what you came to see, you whores!” she shouted as she whipped out her left hand, displaying her wedding ring. “Why won’t you people LEAVE US ALONE? Why, Nick? Why???

I know it was hard, Mimi. I really do.

This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

And black tights with black sandals? Really? Is that what’s hot in the streets now? I can’t hate because she’s sort of making it work, but … black tights and sandals? It makes her look like she should have on a leotard, hopping a time machine to the 1980s so she can go “Jazzercise” in hot pink leg warmers, a matching scrunchie and a crimp ponytail.

Written by blacksnob

May 28, 2008 at 12:21 am

What If Puffy Threw A Party and No A-Listers Came?

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“Look at dem dolphin teeth!”

Wasn’t there a time when Puffy, I’m sorry, Diddy, threw a party and Demi and Ashton showed up? When New York’s glamazons, music all-stars and hip hop moguls showed up to get tipsy?

But the Shiny Suit Man threw a party over the weekend launching some new piece of crap he’s shilling and the best he could get was Nick Cannon (sans Mariah Carey, so that almost doesn’t count) and Kim Kardashian (sans Reggie Bush, so who is she again?)

Poor Shiny Suit Man with the dolphin teeth. Not even a Justin Timberlake or a Jessica Alba. No cool kids!

But, I’ll cut him some slack. He did get John Mayer and Quincy Jones to show up. But then he also got a crazy Tichina Arnold. Beggars can’t be choosy!

Work it, Tichina! Work it!

Written by blacksnob

May 20, 2008 at 7:16 pm