The Black Snob

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Archive for the ‘Terrence Howard’ Category

Actor Fight!: Jamie Foxx Disses Señor Baby Wipes!

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I’m not even a big Jamie Foxx fan (love his work though in “Collateral”), but that was HEEEEE-larious. From dissing Terrence’s deliciously fey “plastic” selling album to how Howard plays the same dude over and over. Awesome. Oh, and the smack talking. The Zoot suit diss. The story about Terrence trying to play his guitar at a Fiddy show and wondering why the crowd didn’t respond. If we didn’t invent shit talking, we definitely took it up a notch. I loves it! As Kyle wrote at Defamer.com: Don Cheadle, we love you, but we’re beginning our own fanboy campaign: Jamie Foxx as Terrence Howard as War Machine in Jon Favreau’s Iron Man 2! (Radio Big Boy, Defamer)

Written by blacksnob

December 30, 2008 at 9:59 pm

Señor Baby Wipes Gets Axed From "Iron Man 2"

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My favorite effeminate, vain, soul-humping pretty boy, Señor Baby Wipes, aka Terrence Howard, was axed from the Iron Man sequel. He’s been replaced by the ultimate black utility actor, Don Cheadle, a man who would probably be more famous if Denzel Washington, Samuel L. Jackson and Jamie Foxx fell off the face of the earth.

Competition, kid. Even Terrence Howard was in his way … until now.

I love The Cheadle (and I LOVED Iron Man — damn, that was one sexy, cool action flick — so I’m happy for him getting in a big pay day blockbuster), but it’s rare for a studio to fiddle with the cast of a film that was so insanely successful. Everyone in the movie was the hotness, from Robert Downy Jr. on down, so I had to consult to insiders to find out why El Vanity No Good Lover Howard didn’t the reboot.

From Yahoo Movies:

When it was announced that Terrence Howard was out of “Iron Man 2” and that Don Cheadle would be taking over the role of James “Rhodey” Rhodes, the question on most observers’ minds was “Why?” The first film was an enormous success, turning a little-known Marvel Comics character into a household name and raking in $318 million domestically. Howard received solid reviews for his work in the film. And the movie itself seemed to indicate that Rhodey would have a bigger part in the sequel when he looked at the silver Mark II suits and said to himself, “Next time, baby.”

Terrence Howard himself seemed at a loss as to why he was replaced, telling NPR that getting the news was “the surprise of a lifetime.” Initial reports said that negotiations between Howard’s representatives and Marvel Studios “fell through over financial differences,” but a recent article in Entertainment Weekly suggests it was more complicated than that.

Howard was the first actor signed to the film and, on top of that, was the highest-paid. That’s right: more than Gwyneth Paltrow. More than Jeff Bridges. More than Robert Downey Jr. And once the project fully came together, it was too late to renegotiate his deal. (Entertainment Weekly)

Director Jon Favreau told Ain’t It Cool News before shooting even began that he had cast Howard with the intention of giving Rhodey a bigger role in the sequels, eventually getting his own suit of mechanized armor to become “War Machine.” But according to EW’s source, “Favreau and his producers were ultimately unhappy with Howard’s performance, and spent a lot of time cutting and reshooting his scenes.”

Consequently, as Favreau and screenwriter Justin Theroux began the process of structuring the second movie, they reduced the scale of Rhodey’s part. With the role pared down, Marvel presented Howard’s agents with a much smaller offer than he received for the first movie.

The agents, according to sources, were so taken aback by this new figure – estimated at somewhere between a 50 and 80 percent pay cut – that they questioned it. Why did they blanch? Multiple sources say that Marvel execs never told Howard’s reps that they had issues with the star’s on-set conduct

So what I’m gleaning from this, el hombre blew it. He was the biggest and highest paid star attached to the film before Downy Jr. proved he could leave the crack and booze alone and pull off the performance of a life time as Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. (Damn, he was sexy. But I have a thing for super heroes. If they ever make a black Superman and I ain’t talkin’ Shaquille O’Neil in Steel. I mean, The Rock or Nate Parker. Or someone who is so hot and noble looking that I’ll want him to call me “Lois Lane” Mary Jane Girls style … all night long. You know what I’m talking about fangirls! Screw Margot Kidder and Kate Bosworth. What about me? What about the sisters? We wanna go up, up and away! Rescue my ass for once!)

Back to Baby Wipes, though …

Either Howard is an insufferable bitch or this is the classic case of Hollywood playing the Hollywood Shuffle with the minorities. As much as I love The Cheadle, I’m bummed that I won’t see the smooth cool of my sweet, sweet Señor Baby Wipes. Granted, his ego is probably huge from the back-to-back critical successes of “Hustle and Flo” and “Crash.” From his half assed Terence Trent D’Arby-esque singing to “Iron Man,” to countless magazine covers, Terrence was/is/going to be what every Will Smith and Jamie Foxx and Denzel couldn’t be … a swexy, smooth asshole. A new variation on type.

Smith works hard, but Señor is a better actor. Foxx is multi-talented, but, again, Señor is the better actor. Washington? Well, that’s a toughie. That’s both Tom Hanks, Marlon Brando and Sidney Poitier wrapped in one. He’s Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis. Equally talented and charming Morgan Freeman bows down when Denzel comes to his town. I don’t know how he’ll beat that. Denzel is getting older. That means he can’t take some of the parts he used to, I’m seeing a three-way fight to be America’s no. 1 black military/cop/historical figure/investigator/action/drama actor. My point is, Señor was/is supposed to BLOW UP. Not getting in Iron Man 2, the closest thing to a guaranteed paycheck outside of the Batman sequel, not getting rehired after America LIKED you in Iron Man means something really, really foul went down.

You blew it, Baby Wipes!

But C’st la vie! The Cheadle is back, baby, going for another shot at the apple! Get ’em, Cheadle, get ’em! Don’t let ’em know what hit ’em!

Written by blacksnob

November 6, 2008 at 3:00 pm

More Belated (Random) Celebrity Snapshots

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So many pictures, so little time. Right, Ashanti? Because I was slackin’ and suffering from brain drain last weekend I didn’t get my celebrity photo spread up. Tsk. Tsk. Guess I’ll just have to sprinkle it about throughout this week. While Tuesday’s spread featured a lavender affair in the Hamptons, todays is a poo poo platter of randomness. A little Dennis Rodman here and a little J. Lo there. Something for everyone! Get a taste!

Girl, I just don’t know what is going on here. WireImage said on July 22nd, Ashanti was pushing something at an event called “The Island Next Door.” A little Googling revealed she was bidding “Aloha” to winners of a Nassau County Tourism vacation. Nice. While it looks like she jacked some fantabulous lace-front wig action, I don’t like the grape Kool-Aid nail polish. Other than that, she looks happy to be picking up a check. What a world. You show up. Make a few faces. Take a few pictures and … Money, please!

Oh, Mimi! It would be too much to ask Mariah Carey to dress her chronological age, but I guess you’re only as old as you feel (or market) and Mariah is a spry, midriff-baring 22 years of age. With rainbows and unicorns and butterflies and such. Her life is like a Candyland game board where everyday she’s walking down “Gum Drop Lane.”

This picture was taken July 22nd at MTV’s TRL studio. She reminds me of preteens who dress like junior hookers because they think that’s what supermodels look like. You know? A little Daisy Duke meets Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” at a Build-A-Bear Workshop? Or one of those Sanrio stores. Or Claire’s. Is there a rich folk version of Claire’s?

And I know she’s had this look for a long time now, but I still really, really, really hate Mimi with blonde hair. I truly wish she’d reconsider something closer to the hair color of her birth, or at least the hair color of ten years ago when she was still a ringlet rocking brunette.

A lil’ J. Lo in the world’s fugliest, shapeless, muumuu. The contrasting block pattern (which exudes a bit of a tribal vibe) looks horrid, like something I could pick up at one of those black bookstore/gift shop/African boutique/knick-knack/wig shack huts found wherever communities of Negroes congregate. Like would cost about $80 and would hang next to the dashikis and mud cloth print tops n’ bottoms, on the rack near the strawberry incense, giant posters of Malcolm X holding a gun while looking out a window and Tupac/Biggie memorial T-shirts.

And all the wigs there are made out of 100 percent human hair!

I don’t know what’s going on with this, as Jennifer Lopez and Skeletor hubby, Marc Anthony visit the set of theatrical production “In the Heights” July 24, Jen’s birthday. (The second shot features Lopez and Anthony with actor Lin-Manuel Miranda.) And like with Mariah, I am sick of olive complexioned brown people with blonde hair. You look ridiculous. Very few light brown people can make this look work and like Mariah, Jennifer is not one of them.

Mr. Baby Wipes is on the cover of Philadelphia Style! How stylish for Terrence Howard, even though he clearly needs a haircut in these photographs. A lil’ shape up for that natural. But it’s cool, Senor Baby Wipes, esta frio! Rock that Philly stilo!

Dennis Rodman. Still alive and attending Ed Hardy swimwear fashion shows. Below he is pictured with designers Christian Audigier and Richie Rich. The event took place in Miami July 18th. So what do you think his breath smells like? I’m guessing Mojitos, chili cheese Fritos and Red Bull.

NBC TV news guy and ex-NFL baller Tiki Barber is pictured here at the opening of Brother Jimmy’s on Murray Hill, July 24. I’m assuming the smiling woman was his date since WireImage’s lazy ass did not bother to catch her name. He’s with his wife Ginny Cha. I wanted to shout, “Woman! Git yo’ hands off my man!” but I resisted, because I had to know specifically which woman I needed to tell to get their hands off my man that is her man. Bummer!

And now let’s play, “Who Looks A Hot Mess!”

Today’s contestants include rapper Fabolous, habitual partier/resident tipsy girl actress Gabrielle Union, former Top Model contestant Toccara or rapstress/”What does she do again? Trina, all appearing at the “Miami Stand Up” event July 20.

Fabolous looks the way he always looks, dressed in generic rapper mode. The half-cocked hat, the comical 80s shades, the bit o’ bling hither and tither. Nothing to shout about. Gabby, with a smile that says “I’m ready to drink for free,” looks pretty, as always, and is dressed in black, as always. Once again, nothing to see here. Toccara, a beautiful woman did not take a beautiful picture here. The dress looks like it came from 1991, the hair is indescribable and the look on the face, not sexy. Jay Manuel would not approve. But our winner is Trina who has consistently looked a hot mess from several years in the running.

I don’t know what Trina does (other than look a hot mess and take the world’s most unsexy pictures). I’ve heard she’s a singer or rapper or performer of some type. I could say something really obvious and lazy like … she looks like a bad drag queen that RuPaul would write a diss track about. Or “a shirt is not a dress.” Or she has thighs so big Popeye’s is threatening to fry them up and serve them to the Reverend Al Sharpton.

No. I’m just going to say that if you put some pants on her she looked like a back up singer for Ashford & Simpson around the time they did “Solid.” That she would be the one in the back with a ton of make up on so she’d look decent on the tee-vee as they performed on Solid Gold.

And she looks “A Hot Mess!” Congratulations, Trina!

It’s a wax Tyra Banks, unveiled at Madam Tussands’ July 24.

Samuel Jackson, Takashi Okazaki and The RZA prompting “Afro Samurai” at Comic-Con in San Diego, July 24.

Star Trek pioneers George Takei and Nichelle Nichols share an embrace and a kiss during the closing night of Outfest in Los Angeles, July 21.

Nichelle looks gorgeous and George is beaming. After all, dude finally got married in Cali, after the courts struck down a law barring gays for marrying. So George boldly went … ahem … where no gay had gone before (legally in California). Enjoy the wedded life, George.

Written by blacksnob

July 30, 2008 at 4:59 pm

Week in Pictures IV: Kimora Rolls Out for JC Penney, Rosario and Terrence Get Tispy In Italy

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Also this week, Kimora Lee Simmons held a launch for her Fabulosity line at JC Penney. Classy. She was there with her family, including her beaux Djimon Housou and her adorable little girls. Gabrielle Union (I swear, she’s everywhere) poses for pics along with the likes of this Mashonda person who is listed as a “singer” but is wearing some impressive shoes.

I’ve about had it with Kimora and these tight, satin dresses. Homegirl. They are not flattering. Please. Make a move to something, anything else.

And finally some pictures from the Ischia Global Film and Music Festival in Ischia, Italy July 17. On hand were Senor Tre Cool, Terrence Howard and my #1 girl crush Rosario Dawson. As usually, Rosario looked like she put the least amount of effort in her look and Terrence didn’t look like he was worth a damn thing, looking all beautiful and weird. Side note: Rosario’s boobs look strangely huger that usual. I’m not one of those is she/isn’t she pregnant people, but she look like she’s at least gained three or four more pounds in her bra.

Written by blacksnob

July 20, 2008 at 6:26 pm

Week In Pictures I: The Good Naomi and Chris Brown Please Put Your Shirt Back On

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This is the Naomi Campbell I like to see. The non-violent, sober, lovely, baby cuddling Naomi Campbell, all smiles as she participates in the Africa Rising music, fashion and arts festival earlier this month. These pictures taken of the festival from July 11 – 13 show black folks at their best. While Naomi and fellow ridiculously beautiful person Tyson Beckford star in the movie of my head called “Two extremely attractive black people make cute faces at adorable Nigerian babies,” hip hop/R&B stars from the states rock the crowd.

While Rihanna is Rihanna and Jay-Z is Joe Camel, it is Chris Brown and his sudden need to take his shirt off all the time that’s concerning me the most. Put it on, Chris. Put it back on.

Here are the best pics from Africa Rising.

Sigh. Enough beautiful baby cuddling with two of the world’s most photogenic people (seriously, they are unnaturally beautiful people and they’re like BFFs too. It’s too much. Does Tyson hand Naomi the jar of Vaseline she uses to grease her face up before beating some fool down? Does he say, “No, not the new iPhone, girl. Use the Nokia!”)

Time for the show and where there is show there is Camel Joe. Rock it.

“Nigeria! Throw up your dynasty signs!”

Usher was also on hand to be Usher. Sweaty. Hardworking. Trying so hard to be sexy, yet still doing nothing for me, Usher. I can get more out of a completely clothed Tyson Beckford with a baby.

I realize that Chris Brown is trying to compete in the Usher Raymond Era (which is the Post-R. Kelly Era. At this point, I think Kells is trying to keep up with Usher rather than the other way around. Did Usher really need Kells on “Same Girl” that bootleg, awful recreation of “The Girl Is Mine?” I think not.) So because the competition from the other shirtless wonders is so hot Chris has to hit the gym and get his 12-year-old boy frame into killer shape. And he can cover that frame in as many tats as he wants, wear as many red stocking caps and make as many hard rock stances. Nothing coming out of his baby mouth sounds hardcore. And I love his duet with Jordin Sparks, “No Air,” and that’s about as far from hood as you can get with a ballad. Basically, I’m tired of the foolishness, Chris. Everyone can’t be Usher Raymond IV. Put your damn shirt on and be Chris Brown.

Quit playing.

Really.

Put that shit away. It’s like looking at a “sexy” fetus. It’s all kinds of wrong.

Side note: And in case you were worried they’d been kidnapped. Nick and Mariah and Mickey Mouse. Yes. WTF. WTF, indeed. Between this and their trip to Six Flags with the cupcakes I’m THIS CLOSE to guessing their next photo op will be in Branson, Mo. cavorting in Silver Dollar City before hitting up Fantastic Caverns in the Ozarks.

Please. STOP. PLAYING! (Picture from Blog Envy Is the New Black)

Written by blacksnob

July 20, 2008 at 3:57 pm

Mr. Baby Wipes Goes Pop

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I don’t know how this pass through my Snob radar, but actor, unrepentant black snob and baby wipes aficionado Terrence Howard has cut a record.

And it doesn’t sound half bad. Seriously. This could have been a lot worse, but it’s actually kind of awesome.

Snob reader Hollins JD Princess brought this to my attention a few days ago and I finally got around to checking Billy Dee Williams 2.0 out.

A lot of actors have attempted to release albums with mixed results. Eddie Murphy abused ear drums through “Put Your Mouth On Me.” Scarlett Johansson was either terrible or terribly misunderstood through her cover album of Tom Waits’ tracks, “Anywhere I Lay My Head.” (I actually liked “Fannin Street” and “Falling Down.” So her voice is so deep she sounds like a man? I still own Grace Jones’ albums.) Jamie Foxx can warble a tune and I think I still have Arsenio Hall’s Chucky A cassette tape somewhere, but the rule pretty much remains that if you’re an actor who wants to sing — don’t quit your day job. I loved Ewan McGreggor in “Moulin Rouge” but I don’t want to plunk down $17.99 for him doing covers of Coldplay and U2 songs.

Yet, Terrence may make me toss out a few dollars for a song or three. Why, pray tell, would I, a broke person, do such a thing?

1. His voice kind of reminds me of another “Terence” — Terence Trent D’Arby, aka Mr. Sananda Maitreya, who I love, love, love almost as much as Prince.

2. The songs are what I like, an adventurous fusion of alternative rock, soul and pop. He doesn’t have D’Arby range or heft (who rules this sort of fusion, bested only by Prince), but on “Love Makes You Beautiful” he comes as close to a D’Arby song as you can.

3. I didn’t hear any vocoder abuse in the tracks promoted. That’s a plus. Nor do the tracks sound like anything currently being played on Crap Radio right now. Howard has attempted a 100 percent for-black-snobs-by-a-black-snob project that could fit nicely between other black snob artists like British rocker Skin of Skunk Anansie, jazz saxophonist Joshua Redman and poet Gil Scott-Heron.

You will be accused by some of being pretentious or even queer for listening to Terrence’s singing/songwriting debut — which features string arrangements and children’s choruses. Yes. It’s that fey. But if you already listen to Skunk Anansie, TTD, all kinds of Prince or own a bunch of Meshell Ndegeocello albums you stopped caring that less astute Negroes thought your music collection was gay years ago.

4. I will admit to snickering a little as I imagined Terrence singing these songs to me, but once you get over that initial “you’re kidding right?” attitude, it’s pretty decent if you’re into non-traditional R&B, which I am.

Now, if only he could get Sananda to re-record all the songs and put out a “Terence Sings Terrence!” album. Howard’s voice is serviceable, but nothing beats the original Terence.

Hear Terrence Howard sing love ballads to you via MySpace here!

Written by blacksnob

July 16, 2008 at 6:49 pm

Profiles In Sexy: Meagan Good and Henry Simmons

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Goodness! It has been too long since I profiled some individuals off my Great Wall of Sexy but here are two people who are so sexy they become obscene.

Great Wall of Sexy alums actors Meagan Good (“It’s Good to Be Sexy“) and Henry Simmons (“Break Up Sexy“) were first round inductees despite their lack of media coverage.

Of Simmons, I wrote:

You know if you broke up with him you’d still have sex with him if he called you out of the blue and was like, “Hey, I was out drinking but I’m too drunk to drive home and I didn’t want to wake you or anything but I had no one else to call for a ride.” You know he’s just saying that to get you to have sex with him one more ‘gain, but you are totally getting out of bed to see how quickly you can wipe the drool off our mouth and get your contacts in.

Of Meagan I’ve written nothing, but that’s not because I don’t find her sexy. She’s like a black Jessica Rabbit. She’s incredibly sexy, it’s just the Wall is still a work in progress.

I was going to do another “Sexy Versus Sexy” featuring them but that was pointless with these two. Both veer into pornography territory (especially Good) depending on how they’re photographed.

I can still remember watching Good in “Eve’s Bayou” and thinking she was such a promising young actress. I still think she has that potential, but a boob job will elevate a beautiful girl to black Barbie doll, sexpot status. And she’s there.

There’s a particular vulgarity in Good’s style. It’s a good vulgarity. Like the kind that will guarantee that she’ll get some kind of work in Hollywood for a long time. But she’s almost too hot to play any of the usual roles black women get in film and television. Like best friend of the white woman. Victim. Asexual harridan. And court judge. She’s not believable in any of those roles.

If I ran Hollywood I’d put her and Wall of Sexy alum Jill Marie Jones (or alum Zoe Saldana or alum Rosario Dawson) in a film where they played highly intelligent, but sexy, running and gunning hustlers/con artists who seduce and destroy their way across America. The climax would take place in Vegas where they attempt to pull off the ultimate sexy Poker faced robbery/payday. And sure, we know I’d be able to sell a surprising number of tickets to that, but I know it would take convincing of the Hollywood brass that people would show up to watch a well-written and directed action/adventure starring extremely sexy black women who are playing characters who the smartest in the room.

But I know the MEN would show up. (And lesbians.) And I know black women who would enjoy seeing some fierce sisters who were the smartest ladies in the room. And we could put Henry Simmons, Idris Elba (as an obscenely wealthy British business man) and Terrence Howard (as the law man on their trail) as love interests. And the WOMEN (and gays) would totally show up to see that. I know I’d personally stand in line in the rain. So seriously, Hollywood. Green light my film.

We could call it “Gorgeous Black People Who Are Smarter, Sexier and More Interesting Than Everyone Else Win At the End of the Movie.” Or “Games People Play,” the title of my favorite song by The Alan Parsons Project.


As for Simmons, he is “scoop you up with a spoon and lick it” sexy. He just looks like he taste like mint chocolate chip ice cream. He muscular and ripped and almost as porny as Good. Would the film in the cameras melt if they were ever in a film together making the “me so sexy” face? Would their abs have a contest over who’s abs were hotter? Who would seduce who and which would have the hotter love scene? These are things I need to know.

Simmons manages to stay in employed through theater, television and his abs. The last time I saw him he was laying his smoldering hotness on Sophina Brown (also on the Wall of Sexy) on “Shark.” But just like Good trolling around in hip hop films with her heaving bosoms, Simmons’ skill is rather wasted playing the heavy. What’s the point in being that hot and you never get to star in anything?

Taye Diggs, who I absolutely cannot stand and do not find attractive for whatever reason, continually gets to star in TV shows. I don’t know why Diggs is more special than Simmons or any of the other hot black men on my Great Wall of Sexy. Why is he forced upon me as the definition of sexy? I often feel like he’s being crammed down my throat like Halle Berry has been crammed down my throat before. There are other hot black marginal actors (Allen Payne and Hill Harper to name two). Let someone else slow burn up the screen.