SNL Goes B-A-N-A-N-A-S With John McCain, Keith Olbermann, Tina Fey, Ben Affleck, The View and more

I don’t know if taking time out for Saturday Night Live in the middle of a heated campaign was a smooth move for John McCain, but it was a hilarious move.

Reliving some of his SNL glory days, John McCain did a great parody of John McCain (including the nervous blinking, but I don’t think he was doing that on purpose), with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, perfect as ever … going rogue by threatening to never leave the national stage. It’s either the White House or “the white Oprah.” Brava and bravo, Fey and McCain.

McCain was also pretty good on the Weekend Update segment introducing new political moves like “The Double Maverick” and “The Sad Grandpa” in which he said the strategy was to whine that Obama would have plenty of chances to be president and it was McCain’s turn. Once again, what will SNL do once this is all over? The comedy show will be doing a special election episode on Monday on NBC.

The show also had some fun at MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann expense. The sketch was a bit wordy and ran long (just like My Fair Keithy). It was also more than eight minutes and starred the evenings co-host Ben Affleck who kept cracking himself up while trying to shout all his lines. It eventually hit the funny button hard when Affleck did a cheesy send up of Olbermann’s sometimes self-righteous “Special Comments” by making it about him trying to get a three bedroom apartment that wouldn’t take him because he owned a cat. A fluffy, white, fey as all get out, cat.

There was even a sketch of “The View” and while it wasn’t as good as the above three, if you closed your eyes Kristen Wiig’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck was so good it was horrifying. Fred Armisen’s Joy Behar was both right and wrong and one-dimensional and Joy’s not that bad. As for Kennan, your Whoopi sucked, but you’re the only black person on the show. I guess you can only do so much with what they give you. And Casey New Girl What’s Your Face? That was a Jennifer Aniston parody? Was that the ONLY celeb they could think for you to do (or the only celeb you could do)? Lame, new girl. Very lame.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Leaving The View? No! That’ll Only Give Me Sherrie to Make Fun of!

From OMG!’s Goddess Celebrity Moms blog:

“The View’s” Elisabeth Hasselbeck is reportedly “really upset” about the recent political discussions (i.e. the upcoming presidential election) that have been taking place on her daytime gab fest. As the lone Republican on the talk panel — not to mention the youngest — she just can’t seem to win against her loud, liberal counterparts Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.

While tensions are high on set, a “View” staff member told the Chicago Sun-Times that things aren’t as bad as they were during the Rosie O’Donnell era. Still, it’s bad enough that Barbara Walters has set up a “cooling off” meeting for her ladies.

Rumor has it that Elisabeth may even be leaving “The View” to host her own program on the FOX News Channel, where she can be with her own “kind” … and not have to face off with Joy and Whoopi on a daily basis! That sort of makes me sad. Although I think Hasselbeck often comes across as being out of touch, uninformed, and immature, I must admit that the outspoken 31-year-old makes for some good television

Personally, I can’t stand Elisabeth when I actually sit through forced viewings of “The View.” But if Miz Liz is down because she’s the only conservative on the show, I have to admit, they did put her in a damned awkward situation. I’m no conservative, but would it have killed them to have hired another center-right person with an insane personality? You know? Instead of Sherrie Shepherd who is certifiable? I mean, Hasselbeck is just alone out there and half the time she doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about. The woman needs some back-up.

And you know who I’m about to suggest.

Amy Holmes. Hire Amy Holmes, dammit! I don’t agree with her either, but I actually like Amy and she’s more coherent and able to get a point across than Elisabeth. She could fill in those Grand Canyon sized gaps Liz leaves when trying to make a futile point against the more dominate Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar. Plus, this would also make it a fair fight.

And if you don’t want the severe bitchatude of Holmes. Can I suggest Michelle Bernard, the more palatable (but not as insane) black center-right punditress? Once again, she can actually formulate a decent answer and she’s interesting.

And both Holmes and Bernard are good looking, so seriously, what’s the problem? They’re just slumming it in pundit land anyway. Or if you don’t want another conservative, how about a Libertarian? An independent? A communist? Something. Variety is the spice of life, Barbara Walters! Keep your show peppered with more diverse insane people. But not Sherrie insane. That shizz is just embarrassing.

Sidenote: According to Defamer.com they “girled” Whoopi up on the show for a week. I don’t know how to feel about this. I mean, she liked dressing butch. That was her thing, but she looks nice all tarted up, so good for her. I think.

This week on The View, Whoopi Goldberg has been cajoled into throwing caution to the wind and “dressing like a girl” (as Joy Behar so delicately put it). Yes, you read that correctly. Whoopi, whose style has been fondly described by our own Molls as “lesbian train conductor” chic, is trading in her Crocs and oversized collared shirts for Eileen Fisher dresses and patent red leather heels. Sure, she looks good. But her patronizing co-hosts are acting like a proud mother whose little Sally shed all that “baby fat” after being force-fed Nutrisystem for five months. “Look at you, girl, you’re wearing a skirt!” cries Babs. “You’re so sexy and hot, girl,” chimes in Sherri. Gee, you can see Whoopi thinking, did I look that bad?

Goldberg returned to pants this week.

It’s Official! Everyone’s Sexist!

What do you call it when you call something humorous and the campaign you work for calls it sexist and that the thing they’re accusing of sexism is a Tina Fey/Amy Poehler-based skit from Saturday Night Live?

Wait? Tina Fey’s sexist? What choo talkin’ bout, Carly Fiorina?

From MSNBC.com:

In a war of words reminiscent of Vice President Dan Quayle taking on television character Murphy Brown in the 1992 presidential election, John McCain’s camp is slamming Tina Fey’s impersonation of Governor Sarah Palin on “Saturday Night Live” …

“The portrait was very dismissive of the substance of Sarah Palin, and so in that sense, they were defining Hillary Clinton as very substantive, and Sarah Palin as totally superficial,” McCain advisor Carly Fiorina told MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell on Monday. “I think that continues the line of argument that is disrespectful in the extreme, and yes I would say sexist” …

“Just because Sarah Palin has different views than Hillary Clinton does not mean that she lacks substance. She has a lot of substance,” Fiorina said.

Palin, on the other hand, found the sketch amusing, according to her spokesperson. The governor and the press corps watched the sketch in the back of her plane, laughing at Tina and Amy’s satirical take on the two politicians.

“She thought it was quite funny, particularly because she once dressed up as Tina Fey for Halloween,” Palin spokesperson Tracey Schmitt told CBS.

You think she would have called the skit, I don’t know, Liberally slanted, elitist or mean-spirited — but sexist? Women can be brutal to one another and some can even identify with the boys’ feelings too much (and that includes Sarah Palin), but women who hate women are accused of being self-loathing — not sexist. But that’s sort of irrelevant since Fey was working in a medium we in Snobland like to call “satire.” If it makes Carly feel better, Poehler’s Hillary Clinton came off as a bitter, angry harridan again. Did the Clinton camp call out SNL for mocking her desire for power no matter the cost “sexist?” Um, no. Nor did the Obama campaign accuse SNL for being “racist” because they lampooned press commentators who have a crush on Obama. No one from the O camp issued a fiery screed.

I wonder why Obama or Clinton didn’t do these things???

Oh, right! SNL is a sketch comedy show and this isn’t the Soviet Union. So grow a pair, McCain campaign, … or borrow Hillary’s.

In other news, Cindy McCain is really upset over the women from The View going feral on her and the hubby the other day. I hate to tell her, they’re kind of known for the occasional tiger mauling and if you can’t handle Whoopi Goldberg asking you if you’re pro-slavery because you want the constitution to be viewed through a 1787 lens how are you going to handle Vladimir Putin? What if Johnny Mac becomes prez and Vlad the Impaler finds out that to get to him all he needs to do is get Sommore and Mo’Nique to defect?

The N-Word Makes Elisabeth Cry

My good friend the Negro Intellectual sent this to me this morning and I had two reactions to this um … heated weepy discussion of the dreaded “N-word:”

1) Sometimes I think this debate would go a lot easier if black people would just explain the “N-word” as being what it is, a racially charged curse word. Often (black) people leave the impression that all black people are “OK” with it when in my own household my mother has never used it and forbade us to use it. At the same time my dad and his brothers do use it amongst each other. I was always taught it was a “use at your own risk” word. Sort of like dropping the “C-word” or “fuck” in people’s presence. There’s a time and a place and sometimes there is no time and no place, but when you say it, you’re responsible for it and whatever reaction you get — good or bad. So white people can say it. Black people can say it. Just be prepared to face the consequences.

2) I actually started laughing when Elisabeth Hasselbeck started crying. I think (she cried) because this isn’t an issue can be dressed up with kittens and rainbows. It involves complex, deep drama that can’t be worked through in 45 minutes on Dr. Phil. They want to be “done” with the issue of race and wonder why-oh-why can’t we just be free, hug a tree and be all “the same” already, because she’s there. She’s cool! She’s totally post-racial! What’s your problem? But then there was the whole not realizing that saying “we’re the same” and us actually being “the same” are two entirely different things. It think it’s a combo of guilt and frustration because she knows she doesn’t get it, but doesn’t want to go down that scary path to finding out what the “real” problem is.

Crying over shit like this is a cheap way to show you care or that you take it seriously when you’re really just crying because you think people are “picking” on you. It’s a sort of luxury only white women of a certain caliber can afford. Mainly, non-poor, young and attractive white women. If you’re an unattractive, old, broke white woman or if you’re a non-white woman and you have the nerve to cry, no one gives a shit about you. No one feels sorry for you. No one tries to help you understand. Elisabeth is just using the tools given to her to demonstrate that she’s a “good white person.” Not one of those bad white people who teaches their children to hate us darkies. Her tears were trying to tell you that.

If Sherrie had started crying, everyone would have given her the “what is that bitch’s problem?” face, as people are immune to black women’s tears. Even if we’re crying over something legitimate like our sons dying in unnecessary street violence, our elderly mothers drowning in Katrina, having our kids taken away, being rejected by our families or communities, getting our heart broken. SUCK IT UP, BLACK WOMAN! No one cares if you cry! I think I was that rare black girl who’s parents allowed to be a “giant girl” and just cry over things from time to time. I wouldn’t have cried over whatever Miz Liz’s problem was (“Everyone is being so mean when I am a beacon of tolerance! Rodney King was right, ya’ll! Why can’t we all get along!”), but as I said before, those tears were for herself and wanting to demonstrate that she was not one of “those” white people, but an understanding one who hates the N-word and would never, ever use it.

The Reviews Are In!

The Village Voice’s Runnin’ Scared blog gave a wrap up of opinions on Michelle Obama’s appearance on The View. While some think the appearance was great and offered la femme Obama a chance to counter accusations that she’s some angry mutant Amazonian black woman, others saw it as “dull” and “cringeworthy.”

The Post, on the other hand, describes the appearance as “lame.” Andrea Peyser writes, “It was as painful as a root canal to watch Michelle try so hard to show her feminine side. She mainly succeeded in looking bored and superior.” This “bored and superior” claim is juxtaposed with a picture of Obama giving the “fist bump” to Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Obama is smiling and giddy. The paper also runs down a list of “Highlights and lowlights” that include her “Most cringe-worthy moment” (a tie between the pantyhose comment and when she brushed some lint off Matthew Broderick’s shoulder) and “Proof positive the Obamas are not Muslim” (in which Obama declares that the Obama family are “bacon people!” at breakfast).

I swear. Haters. Total haters. I stand by my original assessment. She looked great and did great. Take the cynicism down a couple notches, Ms. Andrea Peyser. It’s the freakin’ View. Not “60 Minutes.” And she dusted lint off of Matthew Broderick, not the Queen of England. Haters, I swear!

Michelle Obama: Looking Good On "The View"

A lil’ dap for Elizabeth … she’s supposed to go on Hannity & Colmes tonight. Maybe she’ll tell her boy Sean to stand down on the whole, “Oh dear Lordy, Lord! Barack Obama is an inexperienced black power spewing, honky-hating, Christian Liberation Theology practicing, Secret Muslim extremist who’s super Liberal and wants to conduct gay marriage ceremonies while eating a chocolate covered baby then enslave the white race to build his fried chicken n’ biscuit empire! Clutch yer pearls!“

Pick one thing, Sean! Stop contradicting yourself!

When Michelle said she was 5’11” she wasn’t kidding. She’s rendered every woman on The View “pocket sized.” She also looks like a giant sitting next to Matthew Broderick.

And I wish I could find better pictures of the dress because it was awesome, and Michelle did a good job of gabbing with Gran Dames of daytime talk, keeping things light and semi-unscripted. But I’m sure Sean Hannity will still find something to bitch about anyway. Maybe that print she’s wearing from White House Black Market is a secret Hezbollah floral print.

Michelle Obama Charms On ‘The View’

Yahoo’s TV Guide did lie to me. Elizabeth Hasslebeck was totally there for Michelle Obama’s appearance on The View today. She happily put her fist out as Michelle gave everyone a “terrorist fist jab,” then joked about not being hip. Her co-hosting gig was largely drama free with the exception of her description of Barack as being “empathetic” sounded like “pathetic” to Whoopi, et al. But that was cleared up immediately.

Everyone was friendly, minding their Ps and Qs . Whoopi made a point to “clear up” the “proud of my country” comments, then praised her for being a gorgeous darker brown black woman providing contrast to the gold-tooth wearing mush-mouths who pop up on the local evening news.

Michelle looked gorgeous in a sleeveless, patterned dress from White House Black Market. Since this is The View, they spent a few moments discussing Michelle’s sleeveless style and her eschewing of pantyhose. Michelle neatly explained that as a 5’11” woman, pantyhose is a painful experience where they rip and never fit right.

Hell, I’m only 5’3″ and I agree, but I still enjoy patterned tights in the winter.

I will keep my eye out for better pictures, of course. For those who want a blow-by-blow round-up, check out Lynn Sweet’s blog at the Chicago Sun-Times.

Don’t Forget! Michelle Obama Co-Host’s The View Today!

Michelle Obama is taking a seat next to Whoopi, Sherri Shepherd, Joy Behar and Barbara Wah-Wah Walters today on The View. (Conservative chatter and John McCain fan Elizabeth Hasselbeck isn’t scheduled to be on if you believe Yahoo’s TV listings.) In St. Louis the show will be on at 10 a.m. on ABC-affiliate, KDNL-12.

She was originally offered a spot as a guest, but oh, no no … Cindy McCain got to co-host so Michelle is getting her chance to shine.

Depending on who you ask, this spot on The View is either about the re-branding of Michelle or simply about Michelle getting herself out there in support of Barack’s campaign. I would argue that a little of both is going on.

While I and most other Michelle-a-holics don’t think our South Side Queen needs re-branding, considering she’s become “fair game” in the eyes of the opposition and things like the Michelle Obama Watch have become necessary, going on The View and chewing cud with the rest of the bovines can’t hurt.

Personally, I never want to see a “muzzle” put on our opinionated Future First Lady, but this is America. You can’t have a black woman just running around, speaking her mind. That’s crazy talk. What if she says something true that makes everyone uncomfortable? Quelle horror!

Michelle Obama to be on ‘The View’

She’ll be a guest host June 18th!

Sayeth The Associated Press:

Michelle Obama will be a guest host on “The View” on June 18. The popular ABC daytime talk show had invited her to be a guest this month, but she sent back word that she would like to be a host like Cindy McCain did in April, said Bill Geddie, the show’s executive producer.

“Equal time — that’s hard to argue with,” he said Wednesday.

Being a guest host will allow Michelle Obama to help interview guests and participate in the opening “hot topics,” or banter about what’s in the news that day. It offers the chance for someone to show a more complete personality than just sitting for an interview and talking about themselves, Geddie said.

I’m always frightened for anyone who goes on The View, mostly because it’s like an estrogen fueled Lionesses’ den. But Michelle should be more than capable of holding her own. Plus, Whoopi Goldberg isn’t nearly as nutters as Rosie O’Donnell, although I really wonder what exiled former View co-host Star Jones would do in a Michelle O. interview.

Oh, well! Set your calendars Michelle-a-holics!

The View defends Whoopi, who was totally snubbed by the Oscars

Video from Defamer.com

In case you haven’t heard, during an Oscar montage of past Oscar hosts on Sunday four-time Oscar host Whoopi Goldberg was not included. Never mind she was the first woman, first black and first former Oscar winner to host the Oscars. Who cares. What’s touching is how you can tell how hurt Whoopi is over this and she’s not exactly big on being that kind of emotional. But it was nice to hear her fellow hosts on “The View” defend their cohort over what was a huge, rude snub. And I don’t care that the Academy put her in the Oscar winners montage. They stuck Steve Martin in the hosts’ montage and he only hosted one time and bombed. Whoopi hosted FOUR TIMES! What the hell, Academy? Like or hate, Whoopi, no one who worked as hard as she did to make it as a comedian and actress deserves to be treated this way. She was in “The Color Purple” for goodness sake! A little respect, please!